Dark Humor

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

You know what's weird about plane crashes is that you watch it on the news and they say the people have to be identified by their dental records. 'Cause if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

0

0

If my dad could see me up here now he'd be very impressed. But you know, I'm sure wherever my dad is now, he would be looking down on us. He's not dead just very condescending.

0

0

Go to L. A. -- they got gangbangers that will stab you, and then go to the corner and wait for the light to turn green.

0

0

We have a Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. Why'd we put them together? I called them up. 'Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.' I said, 'Yeah, what bourbon goes with an M-16?'

0

0

What's big, white and would кill you if it fell out of a tree?
A fridge

0

0

Ladies, that's why it's hard for us to find a man: we're too emotional. We're too emotional. We're the only species that would shoot our man six times, and we would go to his funeral and be like, 'Why! Why'd he make me shoot him?'

0

0

If I'm making millions to put a ball through a hoop, you can't ever рiss me off.

0

0

Q. what is the name of kickass's brother
A. Jackass

0

0

I nominate everybody on the titanic for a ice bucket water challenge!!!

0

0

Whats Big Wet And Green That Is Nocturnal.
- I Dont Know.
- Thats Why Im Asking

0

0

Kickass for kickass humor, the world's best joke website

0

0

I asked her to record the game on ESPN, which she did, but not ESPN-HD. And then she says, 'Well, at least you still get to watch it.' Oh yeah, I pay extra money so I can watch TV like poor people. I don't even feel bad for cheating on you this weekend.

0

0

At a live orchestra, and lightening strikes, who gets hit first?
The Conductor

0

0

If you expect a kick in the ваlls and you get a slap in the face, then it's a victory.

0

0

I moved here about 13 years ago from Seattle, Washington. I left a city that has a high suicide rate for a city that has a high homicide rate. I guess I'm just not a 'do-it-yourself' kind of person.

0

0

It's cool to be back in Cleveland. I lived in L. A. for eight years. I can't tell you how cool it is to be able to go to the bank and make a deposit without body armor on.

0

0

There is a blind kid in his room and his mother walks in to give him his soup.
Mom: If you drop that soup you will see whats coming.
Blind kid: *drops soup* Mom its not working.

0

0

Remember the old days? Grandma died -- you brought her in the backyard, and you buried her. Tract housing ruined that.

0

0