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Its not called being gаy its called being fabulous

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Does everybody have their WWJD bracelets on? 'Cause I was wearing my bracelet recently, and I was in the movie theater, and this guy's cell phone went off -- don't you just hate that? Then he picked it up, 'Hey, how's it going? I'm in a movie.' And I'm like, 'Hey! Get off the phone!' And he's like, 'Mind your own business.' And I almost went crazy, but then I looked at my bracelet: what would Jesus do? So I lit him on fire and sent him to Неll.

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Goob is so gаy he tried to kiss me

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Klick "kickass" if you're fed up with "klick kickass" baits on this site!

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One time, I got beat up by a kid named Jesus. And when you're seven, you can't tell the difference between Jesus, typical Puerto Rican name in your neighborhood, and Jesus, the actual savior. So I was walking around all confused -- you know, guilty. What had I done that the Lord would send his only begotten son down to Brooklyn to kick my аss?

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Girl 1#: every time you look in the mirror it breaks.
Nerd: at least it bothers to show up for work.
Need at least 10 kick ass

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To all the people who use the wrong variation of the word "your" or "you're" I hope you burn in Неll...

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I moved to L. A., so, you know, I joined a gym, because it was either that or a gang.

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I've got a friend who smokes five packs a day. He has to wear nicotine slacks. He says he's afraid to quit because he might get heavy. If he doesn't quit, there will be six friends going, 'Boy, he is heavy.'

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Mom:Were getting two dogs this weekend what would you like to call them Me:One and two because if one died you would still have two

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I think violence is wonderful, but what I object to in boxing is the total lack of explanation as to what happened between these guys to cause this fight to break out.

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Its f*cking annoying when your joke gets deleted. Kickass if you agree.

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My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school. She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest.

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What's white and hangs in trees?
A fridge.

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Boy: whats up bra
Girl: nothing much how you doing underwear

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I think God made a mistake, though. He should have left us all with soft spots. Then we'd all be a little more vulnerable and maybe nicer to each other. You wouldn't be so quick to infringe in someone's freedom if they could just воinк ya and кill ya.

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Another thing I like about this site is that you can get away with saying literally anything.

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He was a cop for 20 years, and he was always bragging:
'You know, I was only shot in the arm once.' Well, according to my mom, she said, 'If I would've aimed better, I would have gotten him in the head, the son of a вiтсh.'

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