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Our best first:
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Of course God exist. How else could those foolish atheists explain that my girlfriend got pregnant without us ever sleeping together?
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Dracula visits his doctor and says, “Doctor, I’m really worried. For a while now, there was no blood in my stool.”
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Като бях малък
Fritzchen rennt zu seinem Vater und schreit: "Papa
Sohn: "Papa
Monster Dreng: “Far der ligger et monster under sengen” Far svarer: “Knægt herinde ligger det i sengen”
Son: "Dad! Dad! There is a monster under my bed!" Dad: "Enjoy it while you can son
Ніч. — Тато
- Mami
Vater zu seinem 5-jährigem Sohn: "Nein
Papa
Father talks to his 5-year-old son:
“No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
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Husband approaches his wife, “Jenny, I think I have a problem.”
Jenny smiles at him kindly, “Darling, your problems are my problem also. Trouble shared is trouble halved. Tell me.”
“OK, “ says the husband, “in that case, we got the neighbor pregnant.”
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Δάσκαλος και μαθητής
Японска школа за пилоти-камикадзе.
Ein Terroristenführer ruft seine Auszubildenden zu einer Demonstration zusammen. Nachdem er allen gezeigt hat wie die Weste mit dem Sprengstoff anzuziehen ist und der Zünder eingerichtet wird
Naquela escola de treinamento para Kamikazes
L’istruttore della scuola di terroristi sta tenendo la lezione sul come si usano le bombe negli attentati kamikaze. Entra in aula tutto imbottito di tritolo mentre mostra il detonatore che ha in...
Kamikáze oktató az újoncoknak: - Jól figyeljenek
Kamikaze pilot instructor:
“OK, listen up, and listen up closely. I don’t want to have to repeat myself to you again tomorrow!”
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I saw my wife at the dam yesterday.
Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
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- Am I beautiful, George?
- You’re like the Sun! It’s painful looking at you.
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Ein Kannibale im Flugzeug
Στο πλοίο
Богат папуас пътува в първа класа на луксозен параход.
Ein Kannibale fliegt zum ersten mal. Die Stewardes kommt vorbei und fragt:
Este es un caníbal que va en avión
Resulta que un caníbal viajaba en un avión
O canibal entra no gigantesco restaurante do transatlântico de luxo. Um garçom vem atendê-lo: — Gostaria de ver o menu
Was sagt der Kannibale zum Kellner
Der Kannibalenhäuptling ist Ehrengast auf dem Traumschiff. Als man ihm die Speisekarte reicht
Va un canibal en un avión y la azafata le pregunta: ¿Quiere que le traiga el menú? A lo que el canibal responde: No mejor traigame la lista de pasajeros. ¿Y como llama un canibal a un directorio...
Un caníbal va en un avión
Kannibalen var på flytur. Etter en stund kom flyvertinnen bort til ham og spurte: – Har De lyst til å se menyen? Da svarte kannibalen: – Nei takk
Kannibalen sidder i flyet
In un aereo un cannibale guarda il menu ma non trova nulla che gli piaccia. Chiama allora la hostess e le dice: “Signorina
Un grand chef cannibale prend pour la première fois l’avion. À midi
Un canibal călătorea cu avionul. Stewardesa îl întreabă: - Ce aţi dori să serviţi de mîncare? La care canibalul: - Îmi aduceţi
Un canibal calatoreste Cu avionul. Stewardesa il intreaba: - Cu ce va pot servi? - Pai
Viaja un canibal en un avión
Un cannibalale prend l'avion pour la première fois. Pour le déjeuner l'hôtesse lui demande ce qu'il veut manger. - Pourriez-vous m'apporter la liste des passager
Um canibal vai viajar de avião
Insotzitoarea de zbor il intreaba pe un canibal daca doreshte sa consulte meniul. Canibalul cere lista pasagerilor....
What does a cannibal say to the waiter in a restaurant on a cruise ship?
“Please bring me the passenger list.”
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My grandpa came back from the war with one leg.
We still don’t know whose leg it is.
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(Girl to a guy standing on the railing in the middle of a tall bridge)
“No! Please don't jump!”
(pulls out phone and turns on camera)
“OK, go ahead!”
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Спортуваш ли нещо?
- Ты занимаешься спортом?
Fragt ein Freund: Kevin
- Αθλείστε; - Το σεξ μετράει; - Φυσικά! - Τότε όχι.
При доктора: - Спортувате ли? - А се-кса брои ли се? - Естествено
- Дали се занимавате со спорт? - Сексот се рачуна? - Да. - Епа
Docteur : Faites-vous du sport ? Patient : Est-ce que faire l'amour compte ? Docteur : Oui. Patient : Alors non.
Doctor:
“Do you do sports?”
Patient:
“Does sеx count?”
Doctor:
“Yes.”
Patient:
“Then no.”
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It really makes me mad when I hear idiots saying that women belong in the kitchen. Such сrар. Who would clean the rest of the house?!
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There’s an evil rumor going around that I’m a hаrdсоrе gambler. I don’t know what ваsтаrd is spreading such lies, but I’d bet serious money on it being Mike.
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What creature has four legs and one hand?
A happy Rottweiler returning from his morning walk.
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