Dark Humor

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(Girl to a guy standing on the railing in the middle of a tall bridge)
“No! Please don't jump!”
(pulls out phone and turns on camera)
“OK, go ahead!”

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Patient:
“Doctor, I just feel so invisible, ignored… Like I didn’t even exist…”
Doctor:
“Next!”

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Doctor:
“Do you do sports?”
Patient:
“Does sеx count?”
Doctor:
“Yes.”
Patient:
“Then no.”

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There’s an evil rumor going around that I’m a hаrdсоrе gambler. I don’t know what ваsтаrd is spreading such lies, but I’d bet serious money on it being Mike.

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What creature has four legs and one hand?
A happy Rottweiler returning from his morning walk.

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