Jokes about Dogs

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[OC] My friend recently taught his dog how to say "I love you"
I'm still trying to teach my dad.

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I named my first dog "What".
Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked "What is the name of your first pet?" and I kept answering "Yes."

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We have to bury my dog today.
Mom: Don't be sad. All dogs go to heaven.
Me: Thanks mom. Where does updog go?
Mom: What's up dog?
Me: Not much dog. Just looking for a shovel.

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Today I chopped up Onion for dinner and it made me cry. I guess it's true that you grow an attachment to an animal after you give it a name
He was a good dog

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What do you do as a Dyslexic Insomniac Atheist?
You stay up all night questioning the existence of a dog.

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I got a new female dog today
Her name is Karma

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What does your dog and anne frank have in common?
An average lifespan of 15 years

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Hey, did you see that movie about a hot-dog ?
It was an oscar wiener.

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It's incredible; the way she looks up at me with her beautiful hazel eyee, how she cries for me when I leave, how soft she feels against my skin and most importantly, how she's not afraid to get frisky when we're in bed together.
I really love my dog.

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A man and his son walk into a zoo and the only animal is a dog
The man looks to his son and says "this is a ShihTzu"

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Making a dog happy is so easy
It's a walk in the park.

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My dog has just had two babies.
That's the last time I take a Pitbull for a walk in public.

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I saw a blind man in the GroceryStore today and he was swinging his guide dog around his head. I asked “what are you doing”
He’s reply “Just having a quick look around”.

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My wife said she's going to start calling our dogs Dog 1 and Dog 2.
I replied with, "That's mean, do you want me to call you Wife 1?"
She asked,
"Why do I have to be Wife 1?"
I asked her, "Would you rather be Wife 2?"

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What do you call a person crossing a road in broad daylight, dressed as a clown carrying John Wick's dog?
Anything you want, cos if he's carrying John Wick's dog, he hasn't got much time to live.

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My dog's name is Butter. one day, I went outside and accidentally stepped on his testicles.
Anybody want some butter nut squash?

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We’ve all heard about the dog that walks into a bar
But have you heard the one about the baby seal that walks into a club?

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Some say a hot dog tastes better when flattened like a pancake
Quite frankly, that’s balogna.

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