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Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she was gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: Oh God no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts – that would look so cute I think.
I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh – that’s funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms – see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.
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Bridge to Hawaii Der Geist in der Flasche A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. While walking along a beach A man was strolling along a beach in California. À Brest A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden En man är ute och promenerar på en strand i Kalifornien och funderar över livet när han helt plötsligt utbrister: - "Herre Een man wandelde op het strand en was in diep gebed verzonken. Plots zei hij luidop: "God Mies kulki yksinään rannalla ja löysi pullon lojumassa hiekassa. Hän kurkottui poimimaan pullon ja veti korkin ulos. Savupilven keskeltä tuli esiin henki. Henki kiitti nopeasti miestä vapaudestaan...
One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.
The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?"
The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
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A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so so expensive.
The woman says to the clerk at the counter, "I'm looking to buy a pet for my husband but I'm on a very short budget!."
"No worries," replies the clerk.
"We've just ordered in a very large bullfrog that can give bl*wjobs."
"Bl*wjobs," says the woman, buying the frog, thinking it would be a great gag gift, so she goes home and gives the frog to her husband explaining the frogs talent.
With a laugh the husband walks off leaving the frog in the kitchen.
In the middle of the night the woman wakes up to the sound of pots and pans flying around in the kitchen.
She goes down to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks.
"What are you two doing?" she asks.
"Well," says the husband.
"If I can teach this frog to cook you are outta here."
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Лиценца Der Arzt der träumte Επαγγελματική δεοντολογία!!! женщина-врач не может заснуть - в ней спорят совесть и разум.... Една лекарка не може да заспи. Разговор между двама доктора: Чувство вины мучило доктора Х. весь день. Внутренний голос уговаривал его: Един лекар до късно през нощта не може да заспи. Мъчи го съвестта и все си мисли: Разговаривают два врача: A voice inside said to me: ”Calm down As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying - Слыхал Guy s'était senti coupable toute la journée. Même en essayant d'oublier de toutes ses forces. Il n'y parvenait pas et ce sentiment l'envahissait toujours. De temps en temps Ein Arzt sitzt verstört in seiner Praxis und macht sich schreckliche Vorwürfe Dokter Serge heeft sex gehad met één van zijn patiënten en hij voelt zich al de hele dag schuldig. Het maakt iet uit hoeveel moeite hij doet om het te probeerden te vergeten Zwei Ärzte unterhalten sich. Meint der eine: "Verdammt Deux médecins discutent : "-Hier Uzun ve yorucu bir ask ve sevisme seansindan sonra doktor az otesinde Uyuklayan hastasina bakarken birden cok fena halde sucluluk duygusuna Kapilmis. Panikler gibi olunca icini rahatlatmak icin...
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Идеалният мъж:
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Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip. Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire.
"Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?"
I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie.
She took my hand and took me to our bedroom.
The room had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over.
She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes!
She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did.
And then she said, "now, you can do what ever you want."
So here I am.
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