An elderly man who denies he is being forgetful was asked by his wife to get a cup of coffee at midnight. "Oh sure my dear, and what else?"
"That's it honey, the last time you got me a coffee, you forgot to put sugar and cream," the old wife remarked. "That's not true, for as long as I can remember, I do not forget anything,” boasts the grandpa. "OK sweetheart, in that case, please get me some cookies too," was the sweet reply of grandma. "As you wish my dear," says the hubby, then he adds, "by the way, how do I go to the kitchen?"
An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her lounge chair. He spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?"
There was no response.
He moved a little closer and said again, "Honey, can you hear me?"
Still, there was no response.
Finally he moved right behind her and said,
"Honey, can you hear me?"
She replied, "For the third time, Yes!"
At a party an elderly lady was bemoaning the behavior of the youth of today.
“Look at the girl over there,” she complained. “I don’t know what young girls are coming to! She’s wearing boy’s jeans, a boy’s shirt, and that haircut is so boyish - you wouldn’t know she was a girl at all, would you?”
“Well, as it happens, I would,” came the reply, “because she is my daughter.”
“Oh dear,” said the old lady embarrassed, “I’m so sorry - I didn’t know you were her father.”
“I’m not, I’m her mother.”