A 64-year-old lady never had any kids, so she went to her doctor and asked if he would help her with in-vitro fertilization.
He said, "You're a little old, but I guess we could give it a try."
A few months later she got pregnant.
She invited her girlfriends over to see the baby, and they all very anxious to see the baby boy. The newly mother said, "why don't we just talk awhile."
As time went on, her friends asked again and again where is the baby...
She said, "We never get a chance to talk, and here is our chance to catch up!"
Finally they insisted on seeing him.
She said, "Well, we'll just have to wait until he cries before you all can see him."
The women were puzzled.
And she said, "I don't remember where I put him."
An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?”
"I’m Italian and I am a golfer,” says the old guy,” and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up
and down the fairways. Have a glass of vino, and all is well.”
“Well,” says the doctor, “I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?”
”Who said my Dad’s dead?”
The doctor is amazed. “You mean you’re 80 years old and your Dad’s still alive. How old is he?”
“He’s 100 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. “In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the торlеss beach
for a walk, that’s why he’s still alive… he’s Italian and he’s a golfer too.”
“Well,” the doctor says, “that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your Dad’s Dad? How old was he when he
died?”
”Who said my grandpa’s dead?”
Stunned, the doctor asks, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?”
“He’s 118 years old,” says the old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, “So, I guess he went golfing with
you this morning too?”
“No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.”
At this point the doctor is close to losing it. “Getting married! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?”
”Who said he wanted to?”