Jokes about Police Officers
A businessman is going on a business trip but wants to get something for his wife so that she can give herself pleasure whilst he's away, so he decides to go to a sеx shop. The guy didn't like the idea of his wife having sеx with another man so he didn't buy a вlоw up doll. After looking at all the sеx toys, dildоs and вlоw up dolls, he asks the old man at the cash register if he has anything else. "Yes I do." Says the old man. He gets a wooden box out and opens it. " It looks like an ordinary dildо." Says the businessman. " No it's no ordinary dildо; watch this: Voodoo diск, the door!" The dildо starts twisting at the door, "Voodoo diск, get back in the box!"
"How much does it cost?" Asks the businessman. "Sorry it's not for sale."
" I'll pay you $500."
"Okay" says the old man and sells the dildо.
When the wife is on her own she opens the box and says:
" Voodoo diск, my рussy!"
So the dildо gives her pleasure until after three оrgаsмs gets bored, but doesn't know how to tell it to stop so she puts her clothes back on and gets in her car to drive to the hospital. She has another оrgаsм and the car sways, a policeman pulls her over:
" Are you drunк? Asks the police officer. "No, I've got a voodoo diск stuck inside me."
So the policeman says:
"Voodoo diск my аss!
There were three idiots who were in another country and they didn't know the language. They decided that they would go to the local village and they would each learn one new phrase.
So they went to the village, and the first idiот was watching a girl sing, "Me,me,me,me,me!!" So that was the first idiот's phrase.
The second idiот saw a street vendor who was selling silverware and who was saying "Forks and knifes." And that was the second idiот's phrase.
The third idiот went to a park and saw a boy saying, "Swing me first!" And that was the third idiот's phrase.
The three idiots met back and were about to tell each other their new phrases when a policeman ran up and said,
"There has been a мurdеr. Who did it?"
The idiots decided to use their new phrases, so the first one said,
"Me,me,me,me,me!"
The policeman said,
"What was the мurdеr weapon?" The second idiот said,
"Forks and knifes."
The policeman said,
"Y'all are going to have to hang for this." The third idiот said,
"Swing me first!"
So, theres this guy at his apartment and he smoking wееd for his therapy session. Well his neighbors dispice him and call the cops after smelling a batch cause he refuses to share. As the police appear and smell this outside his door, they ваng on the door. ВАNG!ВАNG! "Open up, it's the police." Calmly he goes to the door, douses his light and puts his magic bag of wееd into his back pocket. Opening the door, the officer demands to search the place, as he goes, he find his magic bag of wееd and says. "AH HA! Caught you red handed", the officer snickers. His neighbors boil with laughter inside thinking he will go to jail until the man speak. "Ahem, I have a reason for this." With the officer rolling his eyes to hear the story he lets him proceed. "You see officer this is is a magic bag of wееd, I can't keep it off me because everytime I flush it down the toilet, it jumps right back out again and into my back pocket.", Frowning the officer is laughing with a argument back and forth on finding this whole story rediculous. "Fine I'll proove it to you!" The man shouts. The officer gives him the bag confidently and watches him empty it into the toilet were he flushes it down the toilet. When nothing appears the officer goes. "Well?" Smirking the man goes "Well what?" With the neighbors mouths gaped opened the officer becomes annoyed. "Where the hells the drugs at?" The man smirks again. "What drugs?"