Jokes about Police Officers
Fishy -
A man was sitting on a London train eating a bag of fresh shrimps, ripping off the heads and shells and then throwing them out of the window.
After he had gobbled a few of them down an older woman opposite him said, Would you mind not doing that? It’s disgusting to watch..
Listen, love. He replied, It’s got nothing to do with you, I’ve paid my fare for this journey and I’ll do what I dамn well want on this train.
He carried on ripping off the shells, throwing them out of the window and eating the shrimps. Finally he finished the bag and settled back for a little sleep.
The woman then started some knitting and all the man could hear while he was trying to sleep was the incessant clicking of her knitting needles.
After a while, he sits back up and says to the woman, Could you stop that noise, can’t you see I’m trying to sleep?
It’s got nothing to do with you, replies the old woman, I’ve paid my fare and I’ll do what I want on this train.
At that, the man grabbed the woman’s knitting and threw it out of the window. The woman immediately stood up and pulled the train alarm cord.
The man burst out laughing and said, Ha ha, you’ll get fined $200 for that!
To which the old woman replied, And you’ll get six years when the police smell your fingers.
An italian man who doesnt know english comes to england and:
At the hotel he learns, "me,me,me!"
At the restaurant he learns, "knives and forks, knives and forks!"
At the museum he learns, "oh, how fascinating!"
And at the farm he learns, "a little fат piggy"
Then there was a dead woman on the road, the police was there and asked,
"Who killed her?"
Man answers, "me,me,me!"
Police,"what did you кill her with?"
Man,"knives and forks, knives and forks!"
Police,"you're going to prison!"
Man,"oh, how fascinating!"
Police,"who do you think you are?"
Man, "a little fат piggy"
A fellow decided to take a bicycle ride from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He rode the first hour or so, and then got very tired, as the ride is mostly uphill. So he decided to hitchhike. For about a half an hour no one came, then a corvette stopped and offered a ride. The biker looked at the car and said I can fit in the car, but what about my bike? The driver said no problem, I have a rope in the trunk and I will tie one end on the bumper and the other end on the bike and I will pull you. I will go kind of slow and if I get going too fast just honk your horn and I will slow down.
So they took off and every thing was fine until another corvette just flew past them. Not to be out done, the driver stepped on the gas to catch him. Well, they drove through a speed trap. The first police officer radioed the second and said, “You have two corvettes coming at you doing about 120 MPH, and you won’t believe this, but there is a guy on a bicycle behind them honking to pass.”