Jokes about Police Officers
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison. They committed a сriме and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and кill them. The brunette is called up. She says,
"Ready, aim, tornado!" Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away. Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says,
"Ready, aim, earthquake!" Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away. Then it's the blonde's turn, who says,
"Ready, aim, fire!"
There are three friends named Mad, Brain, and Fight. One day Fight went missing and his friends Mad and Brain started searching for him. Then Brain said,
"Mad, let's file a missing person report with the police." When they were about to walk into the police station, Brain said,
"Mad, you go and make the report. I will wait for you here." Mad said,
"Okay." Mad walked in but no police officers paid attention to him. Then he saw a policeman drinking a cup of coffee. Mad went to the officer, smacked the table, and the cup of coffee flew in the air, landing in the officer's lap. Angry, the policeman asked,
"Are you looking for a fight?" Mad replied, "Yes, I am." The policeman asked,
"Are you mad?" Mad replied, "Yes, I am Mad." The policeman then asked,
"Don't you have a brain?" Mad replied, "Brain is outside sir."
There's a man speeding on the road and a police officer is chasing him for miles. The man finally stops and the officer tells him, "When you see those lights and hear those sirens, you are supposed to stop!" The man says,
"Well, I had a good excuse to keep driving." The officer says,
"I've heard every excuse in the book, but if it's one I haven't heard, I'll let you go." The man says,
"Well a few days ago, my wife ran off with one of your officers, and I was afraid you were trying to bring her back." So the officer let him go.
A man is sun-bathing nudе at the beach; a little girl comes up to him so he covers his реnis with a newspaper. The little girl asks, 'Whats under there?' The man says, 'A bird.' The girl walks away and the man falls asleep. He wakes up later in a hospital and is in great pain. A doctor and a policeman are at his bed, the doctor asks him, 'Do you remember what happened?' The man replies, 'I don't know; I was at the beach and fell asleep after talking to a little girl. The policeman says I asked her what happened and she said , 'I didn't do anything to the man, but while he was asleep, I played with his bird. It spit at me! So I broke it's neck, burned its nest, and smashed the two little eggs!