Jokes about Police Officers
An Amish lady was driving her horse drawn buggy to town with her young son when she was stopped by a highway patrol officer.
“I’m not going to cite you,” said the officer, “I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous.”
“I thank thee,” said the Amish lady, “I shall have my husband repair it as soon as we return home.”
“Also,” said the officer, “I noticed that one of the reins to your horse is tied around your horse’s testicles. Some might consider this to be ‘cruelty to animals’ so you’d best have your husband check this, too.”
“Again I thank thee,” said the Amish lady, “I shall have my husband check this also when I return home.”
True to her word, when the Amish lady got home she told her husband about the broken reflector and her husband said that he would repair it immediately. “Also,” said the Amish lady, “the policeman said that there was something wrong with our emergency brake.”
A man selling carpet called a home and a little boy with a whisper answered the phone the man introduced himself to the child and asked if he could speak to his father the little boy said,
"No" the man asked why not? The little boy exclaimed, " He’s busy" so the man asked to speak with his mother, the little boy said,
"No" the man asked why not? The little boy said, “She's busy” so the man asked if there were any other grown ups in the house. The little boy said, “ yes a policeman and a fireman” the man asked to speak to the policeman the little boy said, “no” He’s busy so the man asked to speak to the fireman and the little boy said, “no” He’s busy so the man puzzled said, there are four grownups in your house and they are all busy, do you mind if I ask what are they doing? The little boy still in a whisper says " yah they are looking for me"
A businessman is going on a business trip but wants to get something for his wife so that she can give herself pleasure whilst he's away, so he decides to go to a sеx shop. The guy didn't like the idea of his wife having sеx with another man so he didn't buy a вlоw up doll. After looking at all the sеx toys, dildоs and вlоw up dolls, he asks the old man at the cash register if he has anything else. "Yes I do." Says the old man. He gets a wooden box out and opens it. " It looks like an ordinary dildо." Says the businessman. " No it's no ordinary dildо; watch this: Voodoo diск, the door!" The dildо starts twisting at the door, "Voodoo diск, get back in the box!"
"How much does it cost?" Asks the businessman. "Sorry it's not for sale."
" I'll pay you $500."
"Okay" says the old man and sells the dildо.
When the wife is on her own she opens the box and says:
" Voodoo diск, my рussy!"
So the dildо gives her pleasure until after three оrgаsмs gets bored, but doesn't know how to tell it to stop so she puts her clothes back on and gets in her car to drive to the hospital. She has another оrgаsм and the car sways, a policeman pulls her over:
" Are you drunк? Asks the police officer. "No, I've got a voodoo diск stuck inside me."
So the policeman says:
"Voodoo diск my аss!