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Sexist Jokes

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Полицай към арестант: Съдията: - Всичко A female police officer arrests a guy for drunk driving. While reading him his Miranda Rights Bryster En mand bliver arresteret af en kvindelig betjent. Hun informere ham om: “ – Alt hvad du siger og gør kan og vil blive brugt mod dig”. Manden siger så: “Bryster!” Sulaikytas jaunuolis. Policininkas sako: - Viskas
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Воовs!"
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My wife told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what… She couldn’t do either.
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Πλούτισε! Επιχειρηματίας Εκατομμυριούχος. Ο πλούσιος Πώς ένας πόντιος έγινε εκατομμυριούχος αγοράζοντας ακριβά και πουλώντας φθηνά Ο Πόντιος εκατομμυριούχος Ο εκατομυριούχος Der Reporter: "Wie bist du Millionär geworden?" - "Durch meine Frau!" - "Was waren Sie vorher?" - "Billionär!" - Имам огън жена Deux femmes discutent: " C'est grâce à moi si mon mari est devenu millionnaire !" " Ah oui ?! Il était quoi avant ?" " Milliardaire" Uma mulher estava conversando com uma amiga: — Fui eu que fiz o meu marido milionário! Pergunta a amiga: — E o que seu marido era antes? A mulher responde: — Bilionário. Millionær Hvornår kan en kvinde gøre dig til en millionær? – Når du er en milliardær — Пам’ятаєш нашу однокласницю Марину? — Дуже добре пам’ятаю. А чому ти її згадала? — Вона зробила свого чоловіка мільйонером. — Он як! І як це їй вдалося? — Дуже просто: раніше він був мільярдером. Dygtig pige. - Hun har gjort sin mand til millionær på nogle få år. - Hold da op Når kan en kvinne hjelpe en mann med å bli millionær? - Når han er milliardær fra før av... Λέει η μια μπαλαρίνα στην άλλη. - Τον βλέπεις αυτόν τον καλοντυμένο κύριο; - Μα ναι Una mujer le decía a una amiga: - Yo fui la que hizo de mi esposo un millonario. -¿ Y qué era antes de casarse contigo? - Cand te poate ajuta o Femeie sa devii milionar ? - Cand esti miliardar ! - Poate o femeie sa-l faca pe un barbat milioner? - Da La blague du jour !! Une femme raconte a une de ses amies: - C'est grace a moi si mon mari est devenu millionaire Lautre: - Et avant Czy blondynka może zrobić z mężczyzny milionera? - Może Се фали една жена на друга: - Од мојот маж направив милионер. - А што беше пред тоа? - Милијардер.
When can women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
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How many men does it take to open a вееr?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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W.I.F.E.
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their jobs. One guy says, ''I'm a YUPPIE...ya know...Young, Urban, Professional. The second guy says, ''I'm a DINК ...ya know...Double Income No Kids.'' They asked the woman, ''What are you?''
She replied... ''I'm a WIFE...ya know... WASH, IRON, F**K, ETC.''
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Due ragazzi si incontrano in un locale e folgorati dalla passione
A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this beautiful young lady sitting next to him. "Hello there," says the man, "and what is your name?"
"Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey. What's yours?"
"I'm Jim."
"Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight? I mean, right now??"
"Sure!" replies Jim, "Let's go!"
So Stacey takes Jim to her house and takes him to her room. Jim sits down on the bed and notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk.
"Stacey, I noticed the picture of a man on your desk," Jim says. "Yes? And what about it?" asks Stacey.
"Is it your brother?"
"No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles.
Jim's eyes widen, suspecting that it might be Stacey's husband. When he finally asks,
"Is it your husband?" Stacey giggles even more,
"No, silly!"
Jim was relieved.
"Then, it must be your boyfriend!"
Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear. She says, "No, silly!!"
"Then, who is it?" Jim asks. Stacey replies,
"That's me BEFORE my operation!!"
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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplow?
Give her a shovel.
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Q: What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
A: Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
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Being a sexist doesn’t bother me at all.
The only people that will call me a sexist are women and their opinion doesn’t matter.
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Q: If a man crashes his car into a woman who's fault is it?
A: Well what was the man doing driving in the kitchen...
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An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, "Because they are considered of lesser status." Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead. She turned to her guide and this time asked, "What has changed?" The guide answered, "Land mines."
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If women aren't supposed to be in the kitchen, then why do they have milk and eggs inside them?!
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How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? I don't know, it has never happened.
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After I have sеx, I like my woman like my mailbox. Outside my house!
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There are some girls that like to do something called "homie hopping" and homie hopping is basically a girl dates a guy and then she ends up trying to get with his friends, and then she gets with someone new, then jumps to his other friends, and so on. Guys have this and it's called "testing the waters".
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I don’t tell sexist jokes at parties any more.
They’re too complicated for women.
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How we wake up I'm the morning:
Brain: "Oh f*ck."
Body: "Don't get up."
Dick: "THIS IS SPARTAA!!!"
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A man is lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap over his diск.
An ugly woman is passing and remarks "If you were a gentleman, you would lift your hat for a lady ..."
He replies "If you were any sort of lady, the hat would lift itself!"
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