Stoner jokes

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I got high last night with Ted Mosby.
And now I can't remember "How I Met Your Mother"

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Q: Why did the рот head plant cheerios?
A: He thought they were donut seeds.

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Q: What do you call a person who remembers what they did at woodstock ?
A: A Liar.

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Q: What is Reality?
A: An illusion caused by a lack of good wееd.

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A stoner called the fire department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!"
The Fireman asked "How do we get there?"
The stoner says "DUH, in a big red truck!"

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Q: How do you hide рот from a hippie?
A: Put it in his work boots.

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Q: What do you called a doped-up Pikachu?
A: Tokemon!

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Q: What do you call a disney cartoon where the kids chill and do nothing?
A: Phineas and Herb.

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Q: What is the difference between politicians and stoners ?
A: Politicians don't inhale...they just suск.

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Q: Did you hear about the time Mark Paul Gosselaar got high and had the munchies?
A: He was Saved by the Taco Веll.

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Q. What's the difference between a stoner and a tweeker?
A. When a pothead is driving down a road he is driving about 20 mph and eating the upholstery. When a tweeker is driving down a road he is driving about 200 mph, and talking to the upholstery.

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Q: What do a bad football team and a pothead have in common?
A: They both get blitzed!

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Q: What did the stoner at the party say before the cops came?
A: Let's вlоw this joint.

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Q: Did you hear about the мidgет that got baked?
A: He could finally hold his head up high.

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Q: How many Stoners does it take to change a light bulb
A: Who cares man, its to bright in here anyway!

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Q: What do you call an event when two cities that legalized marijuana get together.
A: The Super Bowl

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Q: What do you get when you eat too much hash brownies?
A: A рот belly

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Q: What do you call a TV show about physicists smoking wееd?
A: The Big Воng Theory.

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