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Stupid / Dumb Jokes

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Door Prize Toilet Brush Объявление в туалете: "Пользуйтесь Надпис в тоалетна: Оголошення в туалеті: “Користуйтеся Надпис в тоалетна: Anders tyckte att Ole:s toalett stol alltid var så nerskitad så han övertalade Ole att köpa en toalettborste. När det har gått några veckor Runar och Vegar står och pratar: - Jag köpte en toalettborste igår En gammal tant kom in på ICA och skulle lämna tillbaka en toalettborste. Personalen undrade såklart varför. -Jo Fritzchen schenkt seiner Oma eine Klobürste zum Geburtstag. Als er sie einige Tage später wieder besucht En terrorist från exotiskt land gick in i den västerländska butiken och ville lämna tillbaka en toalettborste. Terroristen förklarade: – Vad ska jag med en toalettborste till? Det är ju mycket... Blondi käveli kauppaan En norrman till en annan: – Vad tycker du om den nya toalettborsten jag har köpt? – Den är bra men jag föredrar toalettpappret! Miksi blondi palautti vessaharjan kauppaan? – Hänestä oli kuitenkin kivempi käyttää vessapaperia. Tiganu' catre cumatru' sau: - Sa vezi Potkají dva kámoši na ulici a první říka: "Tak jsem si konečně koupil novou záchodovou štětku!" "No a jaká je?" ptá se ten druhý. "Musím říct Blondi palautti kauppaan viikko sitten ostamansa WC-harjan. - Kyllä paperi on silti mukavempaa. Den unge blondine havde købt en toiletbørste i en forretning - Jag hörde att du köpte en toalettborste igår. - Ja det gjorde jag. - Vad tyckte du om den? - Nja jag tycker nog att papper är bättre... Maja köpte en toalettborste i affären. Nästa dag kom hon tillbaka och sa: - Fröken Den første: - Jeg kjøpte meg en dobørste i går. Den andre: - Hvordan virket den? Den første: - Jeg synes dopapir var bedre! - Vettünk egy vécékefét. - Na Se introduce canalizarea într-un cartier de ţigani. Ilie îi povestea cumătrului său: - Piranda mea a luat şi perie la WC! - Şi cum e? - Merge Doua blonde stau de vorba: - Fata Se canalizeaza un cartier de tigani. Bulibasa din acest cartier vorbeste cu alt bulibasa Říká policista kolegovi: „Včera jsem si koupil záchodovou štětku.” „No a jaká je?” „Mám-li říct pravdu
I bought a toilet brush five days ago. Long story short…
I’m going back to toilet paper.
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I considered suicide until I found out it is actually illegal.
I don’t want to go to jail.
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My mates are all calling me lazy because I hired a golf cart.
Well, they can just keep walking back and forward to the dart board.
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My girlfriend told me to grow up and find a job.
I told her to get the fсuк out of my tree house.
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Whoever put “Too Cool to Do Drugs” on a pencil is a spastic.
Every time you sharpen it, it changes to “Cool to Do Drugs”, then “Do Drugs” and eventually “Drugs”.
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I need a hallmark card that says “Sorry for the things I’ve said about your girlfriend
I didn’t know you were gonna get back together again”
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I finally went to the Emergency Room this morning at 2AM.
“Doc, I think I’m in trouble, I swallowed an ice cube 3 days ago and it ain’t come out yet.”
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Ollie and Sven were vacationing in Sven’s new camper. As usual, they’d become lost and were wandering around a strange town trying to find the highway. Sven was just starting down a grade to go under a bridge when he slams on the brakes. …. …
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Ollie: Vat da heck you do dat for, Sven? …
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Sven: Dat sign dere says, “Low Bridge. No Vehicles Over Twelve Feet High.” Dis here camper is t’irteen feet!
Ollie: Cripes almighty Sven, dey ain’t no cops around. Yust hit da gas pedal and go for it!
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I approached a girl in a nightclub.
Me: Has anyone ever told you you look like Angelina Jolie?
Her: No.
Me: It’s because you don’t.
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I saw my ex girlfriend walking towards me in the high street today.
Not wanting to stop and chat to her, I quickly pretended that I was talking on the phone.
She walked straight up to me and said, “You’re just pretending to be on the phone, aren’t you?”
“Hold on a moment,” I said to my pretend caller. “No, I’m not. What makes you think that I’m pretending?”
“You’ve got your thumb in your ear and your little finger on your lip.”
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I feel that not enough praise is given to the body for knowing when and when not to shiт when I sit on the toilet or a chair.
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I finally stopped caring what other people think.
I hope everyone’s ok with that.
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A heavily muscled skinhead just saw me chatting up his girlfriend and has now told me to go outside so we can have words.
I can’t believe my luck- words definitely aren’t his strong point.
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I’ve just bought myself a hyena.
Finally my jokes will be appreciated.
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I saw a black lad with his jeans hanging round his аrsе so his boxers were showing.
“Pull your pants up you scruffy сunт,” I said.
“I was just about to,” he replied, turning round. “Now get the fuск out of my changing room.”
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I dropped my cactus the other day.
Worst part is, I caught it.
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Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies ?
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Did you know 2 x 10 is the same as 2 x 11? …
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One is twenty, and the other is twenty too!
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