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Yo' Mama is so fат, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures.

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It was very hot, and this guy runs to a nearby store to buy a hand fаn.
There were two similar fans in make and model but one was 25 cents and the other was 50 cents.
The guy opted for the cheaper one thinking that they work the same way.
Before he left the store, the owner tried to impress on the buyer on how each works, but the buyer was not interested - a fаn is a fаn is a fаn, and he knows how to work it.
The 25 cent fаn broke.
He came back yelling and screaming that the fаn was no good.
The owner explained that he should have got the operating instructions:
"With the 50 cent fаn, you move your wrist left and right to get the air flowing. With the 25 cent fаn which works differently, you hold the fаn steady in your wrist and move your head left to right to get the air flowing."

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Q: Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?
A: No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.

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I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day.
Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning.
Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.

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Q: How do you know when an Asian robs your house?
A: Your technology has been upgraded, your homework is finished, but he's still trying to back out of your drive way.

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I think Chuck Norris is fake cuz if he were real he'd come right now and smash my face into my keyboaraoebdbfjvjdblgoirugsvdkf

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What is so good about Chuck Norris?
He is just some sтuрid actor, if he was really that good he would come here and bash my head on the keyboD5LISDALGFRGY I idyfgylbhyuu2213874rt fsdnljsdha.

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Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.

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Thank you for your email.
Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

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Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people stealing it.

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Yo mama so fат that when she played Xbox live you can see her face sticking out of your tv screen.

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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.

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Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting рissеd off.
It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.

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A Sailor sent an e-mail to his wife, informing her that his ship would be returning from deployment a day early.
Arriving home, he found his wife with another man.
Upset, he stormed off and got a room at the Navy Lodge to decide what to do next.
His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his mother-in-law.
"Bill" she said, "I checked with my daughter and, as I expected, there is a perfectly good explanation for this whole episode."
"This I've got to hear," the Sailor said.
"It was an honest mistake," the mother-in -law said. " She never got your e-mail!"

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Yo mama so sтuрid when I said I was going to the big apple she said bring me back one.

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Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.
"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

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A blonde walked into an electronics store and said to the salesmen: "I want that tv."
The salesperson shook his head and said, "No, we don't sell to blondes."
So the blonde left and came back with her hair dyed brown and said: "I'll take that tv."
Again the salesman said: "No, we don't sell to blondes."
So she left again and came back with her hair dyed black and said: "I want that tv."
But the salesman still said: "No, we don't sell to blondes."
Finally the blonde got fed up and said, "That's it! How'd you know I was a blonde?!" she asked.
The salesman answered: "Cause that's a microwave."

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A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the First house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the соw droppings onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up within 5 minutes with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this dung!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
"There's no electricity in the house…" said the lady.

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