Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cindy Crawford are flying to a super models conference in Paris, when the captain of the plane announces:
“We have just lost power to the engines and are going to make an emergency crash landing - assume the brace position immediately!”
Immediately the three models start preparing for the worst. Claudia pulls out lipstick and make-up and starts fixing her face. Bewildered, Naomi and Cindy ask:
“What in the hеll are you doing fixing your make-up when we are about to friggin’ crash!”
Claudia responds:
“I know for a fact the rescue workers will search for, and save first, the ones who have the best looking faces - which is why I am putting on my make-up.”
Cindy Crawford rips open her blouse to expose two beautiful mounds of flesh which inexplicably defy the law of gravity. Totally confused, Naomi and Claudia shout:
“Cindy, have you lost your senses? Why are you baring your вrеаsтs for everyone to see when we are about to die!”
Cindy responds:
“I have it on good authority in plane crashes, the rescue workers look to save first the women with big beautiful вrеаsтs - which is why I am exposing my t*ts!”
Not hesitating, Naomi Campbell pulls down her skirt and раnтiеs to expose her love triangle.” Freaking out, Claudia and Cindy yell:
“Naomi - Are you crazy?? Why are you exposing your crotch for everyone to see?”
Calmly, Naomi responds:
“ВIТСНЕS PLEASE! I know for a fact the first thing the rescue workers look for in plane crashes is a black box!”
A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him. The rabbi told him he wouldn’t know what to say, but the priest told him to come on over and he’d stay with him for a little bit and show him what to do. The rabbi comes and he and the priest are in the confessional.
A few minutes later, a woman comes in and says, “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”
The priest asks “What did you do?”
The woman says, “I committed adultery.”
Priest:
“How many times?”
Woman:
“Three times.”
Priest:
“Say two Hail Mary’s, put five dollars in the box and go and sin no more.” A few minutes later a man enters the confessional.
He says, “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”
Priest:
“What did you do?”
Man:
“I committed adultery.”
Priest:
- ”How many times?”
Man:
“Three times.”
Priest:
“Say two Hail Mary’s, put five dollars in the box and go and sin no more.”
The rabbi tells the priest that he thinks he’s got it so the priest leaves.
A few minutes later another woman enters and says, “Father forgive me for I have sinned.”
Rabbi:
“What did you do?”
Woman:
“I committed adultery.”
Rabbi:
“How many times?”
Woman:
“Once.”
Rabbi:
“Go do it two more times. We have a special this week, three for five dollars.”
A white woman and a black dude are dancing at a club, and after a while things start to get hot and heavy. After some heavy kissing and petting, the woman makes the suggestion that they return to her apartment for the night.
When the couple arrives at the woman’s apartment, they begin passionately kissing and undrеssing each other, preparing to have frenzied and unrepentant s3x with each other.
However, the white woman, curious as she was, asked the black guy as he was taking off his pants, “before you take them off…. Is it true what they say about black guys?”
With a suave yet sinister look, he looked into her eyes and said, “Baby, of course.”
Then he then proceeded to stab her and ran out the door with her purse.