A mom of an eight year old boy is awaiting her son's arrival from school. As he runs in, he says he needs to talk to her about making babies. He claims he knows about the development of a fetus, but doesn't understand the answer to the million dollar question. Namely, how does the sреrм get into the woman? The mom asks the boy what he thinks the answer is. The boy says that the sреrм is manufactured in the man's stomach, rises up to his chest, then throat, and into his mouth, where he then kisses the woman and deposits the sреrм into her mouth. The mom tells her boy that it is a good guess, but it's wrong. She gives him a hint by telling him that the sреrм comes out of the man's реnis. Suddenly, the boy's face becomes quite red and he says,
"You mean you put your mouth on that thing?"
A man goes to a sтriр club with an alligator. He says,
"I bet you that I can put my diск into this alligator's mouth for 1 minute, and when I take it out, it will not be damaged. If I succeed, all of you will buy me drinks. If I fail, I will buy all of you drinks." The other men agree and he puts his diск into the alligator's mouth for 1 minute. After 1 minute, he hits the alligator on the head with a вееr bottle, and he opens his mouth. To everyone's surprise, his diск is unharmed. "Now, before you buy me drinks, does anybody else want to try?" After a while, someone in the back finally raises their hand. It's a woman. "I guess I can try," she says,
"But you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a вееr bottle."
Two salesmen were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their offer and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude salesmen were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of the men said:
"Ma'am, before you do that again, you need to move your cat."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison. They committed a сriме and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and кill them. The brunette is called up. She says,
"Ready, aim, tornado!" Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away. Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says,
"Ready, aim, earthquake!" Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away. Then it's the blonde's turn, who says,
"Ready, aim, fire!"
Traveling through the country, an old couple drives into a gas station. The attendant asks the old man,
"Where you folks from? I know everybody in this town." The old man says,
"We're from Nebraska."
Hard of hearing, the old lady nudges her husband, "What did he say, papa?"
The old man answers her, "He asked us where we are from."
"Oh," replies the old woman. The old man tells the attendant to fill up the tank and check the tires. When that's all done, the attendant tells the old man, "You know, the worst piece of аss I ever had was from Nebraska."
The old lady nudges her husband once more and asks, "What did he say, papa?"
The husband replies,
"He thinks he knows you, mama."