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- Do you know a good GDPR consultant?
- Yes.
- Can you give me his e-mail address?
- No.

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Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

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A taxpayer received a strongly worded "second notice" that his taxes were overdue.
Hastening to the collector's office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice.
"Oh," confided the collector with a smile, "we don't send out first notices. We have found that the second notices are more effective."

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A Roman centurion said to me "I've had sеx with so many women, I've lost count".
I said "MMM..."
He said, "No, it wasn't that many".

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I’ve always thought I will discover my inner self through some eastern philosophies, not because of a sтuрid single-ply toilet paper from Walmart!

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Running away doesn't help you with your problems...unless you're fат.

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Assassins are impressive. Its not the killing part that impresses me... its that they figured out a way to fit "аss" into the same word twice.

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A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you, no matter who left you a fortune!"

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"If women are so вlооdy perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sеx at the same time?"

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My resume is really just a list of things I never want to do again.

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My girlfriend left me for a hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better - they worship cows.

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Irish historians have discovered what they believe to be the headstone of the oldest Irishman to have lived.
He was 193 and his name was Miles from Dublin.

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A policeman spots a huge black guy dancing on the roof of a car.
He radios for backup.
"What's the situation?"
"A big fат black guy is dancing on the roof of an old Ford car."
"You can't say that over the radio!", replies the operator, "you have to use politically correct terminology."
"OK", he says:
"Zulu....Tango....Sierra!"

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I earn a five-figure month salary.
Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.

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A man is reading his newspaper and says to his wife: “Michelle, look. Here is an article about how women use about twice as many words per day as men do.”
The wife responds: “That’s because we have to tell you everything twice”

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One shop owner asks another:
“So, have you had any reactions yet to your ad that you’re looking for a night guard?”
“Yeah, we got robbed tonight.”

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Two men walk in the jungle. One has a gun on his back and the other one a big rock. The one with the rock asks the other man:
“Why do you have a gun on your back?”
“When a wild animal comes, I can defend myself. And what about you, why the rock?”
The guy with the rock smiles proudly:
“When a wild animal comes, I can throw the rock away and run much faster!”

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Outer Mongolia. One of the few places where your navigation can say, “Keep straight. Prepare to turn right on Tuesday morning.”

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