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Asian jokes

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My coworker invited an Asian friend to the party
His friend said he would bring Coronas to the party, but didn't show up with вееr.
​
*Everyone left the party feeling a little sick.*
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What do yo call an Asian Kid with a Calculator?
A disgrace
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What is an Asian persons drug of choice?
Mathamphetamine
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Why don’t Asian people like bowling?
Because to them it’s bowring.
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Whenever I tell people that I'm half asian they look so surprised
They just can't tell by looking at my face
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A man points a gun to an asians head and says "Get on your knees"
The asian replies "Cantonese"
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What do Asian cats eat?
Mice paper rolls
What do Asian dogs eat?
Their family
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If you look at how some Asian people are driving...
... You might think that Pearl Harbor was an accident.
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Why do Elmo and Asian cuisine go so well together?
Because he's a sesame ginger
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Why did Logan Paul not high five Ricegum back?
He likes leaving asian people hanging
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What do you call a shell fish from China?
A Crust-Asian
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My paraplegic friend calls residents of Asian countries "Chinas", "Japans", "Taiwans", etc.
I think he's a little weak in the 'nese.
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I broke my leg a while back and had to use crutches. After a while he saw me walking in a central Asian country without them and didn't know my leg had healed, so he asked,
"Why don't you have your crutches?"
And I said,
"Kazakhstan up fine by myself."
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An asian and caucasion guy are hitting on the same girl in a bar.
After a while asian guy is left with a job in his hand.
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My asian neighbour asked if he could walk the dog
They didn’t come back for a while, I was worried about my dog so I went to his house, dog was on the wok.
Edit: I am not racist nor trying to be disrespectful, just liked the play on words wok and walk
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What do you call a red head Asian girl who does things with grace?
Ginger Lee.
*If you ever see this I'm sorry for stealing your original joke @Ziplock*
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I like my cartoons like Wооdy Allen likes his women...
Barely legal and asian.
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Дете пита майка си: Treffen sich zwei Frauen im Park, die eine hat einen Kinderwagen dabei. Негърче пита майка си: A little boy asked his mother: Mummy, why are you white and I am black? Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark. Un ragazzino: - Mamma, come mai tu sei bianca e io sono nero? - Eh figlio mio, quando mi ricordo di quella festa..., meno male che non abbai. Sohn: "Papa, warum bin ich schwarz obwohl Mama und Du weiß seid?" Vater: "Tja Sohn, das war damals eine ziemlich wilde Orgie. Sei froh, dass Du nicht bellst!" A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don O garotinho vira-se para a mãe e pergunta: — Manhêêê! — O que é, seu pirralh..., digo, meu querido? — Se você é branca e o papai é negro, por que é que eu fui nascer com cara de japonês? — Ih, meu... Fragt die Frau den Arzt, wie denn ihr neugeborenes Kind aussehe. Antwortet der Arzt: "Ein blonder Schwarzer mit asiatischen Augen! Vielleicht sollten sie das nächste Mal besser aufpassen, wenn sie... Een blondje ligt op de verlostafel en het hoofdje van haar baby komt er uit. Warempel, het is zwart! De verpleegster vraagt: "Deed u het met een zwarte?" "Ja zei de blondine, maar eenmalig." Het... Fritzchen: Papa, Papa – warum sind du und Mama weiß und ich schwarz? Vater: Weißt du Sohn, die 68er waren eine verrückte Zeit. Sei froh, dass du nicht bellst. Mamo, mamo, a dlaczego ja jestem czarny, a Ty jesteś biała? - pyta dziecko mamę. - Ciesz się, że nie masz ogona i nie szczekasz - taka była impreza - odpowiada mama. - Apu, apu! Miért van az, hogy te is fehér vagy, anyu is fehér és én néger vagyok? - Hú, kisfiam erről inkább anyádat kérdezd! Odamegy a gyerek az anyjához: - Anyu, Anyu! Miért van az, hogy te is... Op het ziekenhuis is er juist een vrouw aan het bevallen. Eerst komt het kopje van de baby tevoorschijn, het ziet geel. De dokter vraagt: "Heb je het ooit met een chinees gedaan?" Waarop de dame... Pistike kérdezi az anyukáját: - Anya az mért van, hogy apa is, te is, az egész családban mindenki fehér, csak én vagyok fekete? - Kisfiam, ne kérdezz semmit! Amilyen buli volt, örülj, hogy nem... Mazs zēns jautā mammai: - Mamm, kāpēc es esmu melnādains, bet tu balta? - Labāk nejautā. Atceroties to ballīti.. esi laimīgs, ka nerej! Kisfiú odamegy az anyukájához: - Anyuci, az hogy van, hogy az oviban minden kisfiúnak fehér a bőre, és a szülei is fehérek. Én viszont fekete vagyok, viszont te fehér! Hogy lehet ez? - Hát,... Ρωτάει το παιδί τον πατέρα του : - Μπαμπά, γιατί εσύ είσαι άσπρος, η μαμά μου μαύρη και εγώ κίτρινος; Και του απαντάει ο πατέρας του: - Με την παρτούζα που έπεσε εκείνο το βράδυ, να ευχαριστείς που...
Mommy, why am I asian when daddy is black and you are white?
With how that night went just be thankful you are not barking
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