Boobs jokes

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A friend is like a good вrа.
They’re hard to find, supportive, comfortable, always lift you up, and always close to your heart!

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Summer is the official воов sweat season.
A woman got вrеаsт implants made of wood yesterday.
This joke would be funny if it had a punchline wooden тiт?

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With great воовs comes great responsibility.
Boobs are like kiddie toys.
They’re really for the kids, but your partner always ends up playing with them.

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What do you call the moisture on the chest of a very large-breasted woman?
Mountain Dew.

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Where does a waitress wear a bikini?
In a breastaurant.

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I was once slapped in the face by a girl with 12 niррlеs.
Sounds weird, dozen тiт?

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The mattress company has come out with a line of вrеаsт implants.
They’re filled with mammary foam.

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A young reporter was having trouble finishing her byline.
The editor specifically told her she couldn’t print the words вrеаsт or воовs. The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally, she handed the editor the following report: “Mrs. Smith was injured in a car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital with lacerations to her ( . )( . )”

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“If they could bottle how good it feels to take off your вrа, that would sell for more than any expensive wine.” — @randomnloveit/Twitter
I joined the local swim class.
The breaststroke was not what I thought it would be.

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I met a guy who could remember every вrеаsт he’d ever seen.
He had a photographic mammary.

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I think breastfeeding in public is unfair.
I was always taught that if you didn’t bring enough food for everyone, you shouldn’t take it out.

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If you shame a girl for her вrеаsт size, I’ll push you into traffic.
Who’s flat now?

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“Push me aside, but I will come back. Hide me, but I will always emerge. I AM POWER. I AM RESILIENCE. I AM A ВRА STRAP.” — @MaraWilson/Twitter
Two friends are hanging out when one looks at the other and says, “You’re a воов.”
Offended, the second friend said, “Why’d ya say that?” Smirking, the first friend replied, “Oh, c’mon — I’m just tittin’.”

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Two girlfriends are hanging out when one spills coffee on her shirt. The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the воов. “Ouch! That really hurt!” the first friend exclaims. To which the other replied, “I’m so sorry. I had the вrеаsт intentions.”
Having воовs is sort of like having two toddlers hanging out in your вrа.
They never stay put when they’re supposed to, are always getting attention (whether you want them to or not), and they’re happiest when they’re free to roam.

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“Just slung my вrа off and threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already two other bras. If my math is right, it’s Wednesday.” — @JessObsess/Twitter
I’m working on a niррlе joke.
I’ll post it after I tweak it a bit.

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What’s the most universal Friends episode title?
“The One Where Rachel’s Niррlеs Are Еrест”

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Alright, ladies, it’s Breastfeeding Awareness week.
It’s time to milk it!

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding?
Thanks for the mammaries!

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