Jokes

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My ex boyfriend’s diск is so small that instead of giving him a hаndjов I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.

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The gas prices are going up that even Нiтlеr is killing himself

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A blonde walks into the Doctors office. She tells the Doctor, " My boyfriend has dandruff". The Doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the Doctors phone rings. He answers, its the Blonde. The Doctor asks how he can help her. " Well Doctor, I understand head, but how do you hove shoulders?"…

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So a girl says to her ex I can’t get you out of my mind the boyfriend I knew you we’ve the girl replies I see you in everything like when I’m walking down the street even at work like trash cans are everywhere

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A hill billy female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.

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How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!

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Why won’t my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.

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So a guy walks into gas station and walks to the person working and says “can I have a kitcat chuncky” so she gets him one and then he says “no I want a normal kitcat you fат вiтсh”.

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My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

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The broccoli says ‘I look like a small tree’, the mushroom says ‘I look like an umbrella’, the walnut says ‘I look like a brain’, and the banana says ‘Can we please change the subject?’

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Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password

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How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.

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The joke is me

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Why do women have cleaner minds than men? – Because they change theirs more often.

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I fell from the stairs the other day. it really “got me down”.

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Once my friend was saying something dumb and I was like I Campbell-eve you just said that.

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Why should you wary of stairs? – Because they are always up to something.

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Sometimes, stairs get me down.

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