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I wonder why there are locks on the doors of Seven-Eleven when it says they are open 24/7.

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What do you call a task force that smokes wееd? a Joint Task Force

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There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator... and you can't cross it!

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Don't hold in your farts, thats where you get your сrаррy ideas from

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I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

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My cooking class invited me to give a speech. It's about thyme.

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Don't worry guys, I won't make a joke about bread.
It's the yeast that I could do.

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Don’t you hate it when you’re typing something and you’re thinking about something else so then you subconsciously type what you were тiттiеs.

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What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?
The same middle name.

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An Idiот was once asked," Where is the center of the earth?" to which he instantly replied," Right here!"
But why he was asked. The idiот replied, "You don't believe it? Then disprove it!"

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The first thing you have to do when you have a day job is you have to get up -- in the morning -- and that's inconvenient.

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Rate kickass button if you like воовs!

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When I was growing up my parents made a lot of sacrifices. They were actually devil worshipers.

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What goes, "Clip clop clip clop clip clop clip clop ВАNG ВАNG clip clop clip clop clip clop..."
An Amish drive-by shooting.

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A little old lady was driving the wrong way down a one-way street and was stopped by a cop.
“Didn’t you see the arrows?” he asked.
“Arrows? I didn’t even see the Indians!” she exclaimed.

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To the guy who invented Zero:
Thanks for nothing!

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I could not believe that the statue wasn't made from stone. Next time I won't take art for granite.

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What do you call a rat that's in a cocoon?
A raccoon.
Badup bup

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