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What do brokeback mountain and the Dallas Cowboys have in common?
They both have cowboys that suск.

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I thought i got a type a in blood test but it was actually a typ-o

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Wanna know how to tell a boy atom from a girl atom?
Pull down they're "Jeans"

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Why didn't people want to go to the German restaurant?
It was always too krauted.

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Q. What is it called when you dream in color?
A. A pigment of your imagination

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The water department staff said they would be fluid in answering all mystifying questions asked at a recent meeting.

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Skeleton: I love her so much
Mannequin: Why don't you ask her out?
Skeleton: I don't have the guts

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Fun Things To Do In An Elevator:
1. Сrаск open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask:
"Got enough air in there?"
2. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:
"Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
3. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
4. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
5. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
6. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral
7. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back:
"Oh, not now, motion sickness!"
8. Meow occasionally.
9. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
10. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

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Why was the glowworm unhappy?
Because her children were not very bright!

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Carl asked, “Got anything to cure fleas on a dog?”
“That depends,” the slow-minded vet replied.
“What’s wrong with them?”

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A young Antartian, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes
But was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.
"I'll just catch my own alligator," she told one shopkeeper," so I can get a pair of shoes for free." She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp.
Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the Antartian standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in.
She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.
"Oh, no!" the Antartian shouted in dismay. "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

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Have you heard about the new diaper that has been released by Apple? It’s called the iPoo.

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A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

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Did you hear about the two silkworms who had a race?
They ended up in a tie.

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What do you call a small house with no curves?
A flat

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People who say they suffer from constipation are full of shiт.

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I submitted 10 puns to a pun website to see if I would win the top prize.
No pun in 10 did.

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Teacher: I can speak every language except Greek, ask me something is any other language. Student: (Speaks Spanish) Teacher: Hmmm sounds Greek to me

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