Jokes

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I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control

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Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you

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Rules of Dark humor:

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So two condoms walk by a gаy bar, what does one соndом say to the other, “hey, wanna get ‘shiт-faced?’”

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What’s the difference between apple’s and orphans apples actually get picked
I made a website for orphans but sadly it didn’t have a home page.

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I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.

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How do you make an orphans hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

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What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.

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What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon, one smashes open when you hit it with a sledge hammer and the other is a water melon

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Rehab’s for quitters and I don’t give up

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean? nothing, they just WAVED. can you SEA what i did there? im SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? dont be a BEACH.

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What happens when Stephen hawking dies?
The windows shutdown sound plays.

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We need more women in the military! They can bleed for weeks and still not die!

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Whats the difference between a maze and a depressed life?
One of them you can find a way out of

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How can you tell that a реdорhilе likes music?
He rapes D minor

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“How is your long distance relationship going?” – “So far, so good.”

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Jesus Сhrisт said my faith can move mountains so Mohammed said my faith can move sky scrapers

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- No one can fuck this country up as much as I did! - Hold my beer

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