Dad Jokes

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That awkward moment when you borrow your dad’s electric beard trimmer, disappear in the bathroom for 40 minutes and your dad wonders what you were doing there because your beard looks just like it did before…

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It always takes two to create trouble in a marriage.
The wife and the mother-in-law.

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I sometimes feel like the 5th wheel in my family.
Which, of course, is the steering wheel.

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Why has no skeleton ever jumped from a really tall building?
They ain’t got the ваlls.

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Why don’t fish play basketball?
They have issues with the net.

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I love vegan food! It makes an excellent side dish to any meat!

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What does a traffic warden do when he wins a million dollars in the lottery?
He buys himself a crossing and becomes self-employed.

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What is white, stands in front of the stairs, and can’t go up?
A washing machine.

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Thomas says to John:
“You know, it’s a good thing we aren’t Mexicans.”
John is puzzled:
“What? Why?”
Thomas explains:
“Because we don’t know a word of Spanish.”

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What tea is it not a good idea to drink?
Tnt.

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What happened on the 1.1.1111?
A new year started.

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Why is it pointless to play hide and seek with mountain ranges?
They peak.

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An exclamation mark look at a question mark appraisingly, “Hmmm, nice curves!

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- ”What did Jasmin rice say to Asian vegetables?
Don't you wok away from me!

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What would you call a camel that has no huмр?
Humphrey.

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Why can’t fish cry?
Because they don’t have eyebrows.

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Why is there a donut sitting at the dentist’s office?
It’s there to get a filling.

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What kind of cake is the most popular one in cake shops?
Answer:
“This one!“
And the second most popular?
Answer:
“No, no – that one, right next to it!”

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