Dad Jokes

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What would you call a camel that has no huмр?
Humphrey.

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Why can’t fish cry?
Because they don’t have eyebrows.

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Why is there a donut sitting at the dentist’s office?
It’s there to get a filling.

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Why do fish make such lousy tennis players?
They’re afraid of coming close to the net.

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What is white and hides behind a tree?
A shy milk.

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Are insecticides good for mosquitos?"
[yes]
Not at all, it kills them!"

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Dad Jokes
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New Dad Jokes
See also:
Bad Jokes

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[OC] My friend recently taught his dog how to say "I love you"
I'm still trying to teach my dad.

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I used to by my dad a neck tie on father's day, but now I buy him an Asian hоокеr.
It's better to buy a Thai that he'll actually use.

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My doctor told me that I had Hepatitis B
When I told my Asian dad, he said,
"Why you no get Hepatitis A?"

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My dad was getting a prostate exam.
He asked the doctor, "Where should I put my pants during the exam?"
"Just toss them in the corner" replied the doctor, "Right next to mine."

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A programmer's wife is having a baby.
The doctor hands over the baby to the dad. The mom asks:
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
The programmer responds:
"Yes, that's true".

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When I was a little kid, my dad would swear then say "Excuse my French"
One day the teacher asked if anyone could speak a foreign language and I raised my hand

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Nurse to my dad at the hospital...
... after he was hit by a car on his bike: do you smoke?
Dad, still not sure who the current president is: only when I'm on fire
Nurse: looks to my mom
Mom: no.

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So I have a pretty good fathers day joke
Can't wait to tell my dad when he finally brings the milk home

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How is my dad supposed to celebrate Fathers day
When it's on a Sonday

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My dad said his first car had a Dual-55 air conditioning system.
All you have to do is to roll down both of the windows and drive 55 miles an hour.

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What's the difference between your dad and this joke?
This joke will be back someday

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