Dark Humor

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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.

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Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels?
A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.

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Knock Knock
Whose there?
9/11
9/11 who?
I thought you said you would never forget.

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The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace.
"For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."

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What do black people smoke?
Niggerettes.

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They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.

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A Jew, a German and an American walked into a small room. The Jew never came out.

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How do you get a Jew to win a race?
Drop a quarter at the finish line.

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What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust?
The cost.

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Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!

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What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
None!
They both hang from trees.

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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu AK-
Boom!!!

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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!

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Whats the difference between a coffin and a соndом?
One you go in the other you come in!

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Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter?
It sure gave them something to chew over.

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Why did Нiтlеr go to the eye doctor?
Because he can Nаzi.

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Europe to Iceland:
Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down.
Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it?
Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH!
Iceland: Woooops...

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson

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