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What was the last thing that went through sallys mind before she got hit by the bus. Ohhh look a bus

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I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins.
I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

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Oh daddy, I love you so much!
Hey, until we get the DNA test, I’m just Harry to you!

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Yo mama's so old, she might die soon.

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today?
Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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So a Hispanic, African-American, Jewish, and Asian man were walking down the street.
They were involved in a parade that celebrated racial equality.

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Why is Osama dead?
He got shot.

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Why did Susie start shaking?
She had continuous seizures.

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What's black and twelve inches long?
A Maglite.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster?
Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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He: Did it hurt?
She: Did what hurt?
He: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because your face is really fuскеd up.

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Boy - I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Girl - It's in the phone book.
Boy - But I don't know your name.
Girl - That's in the phone book too.

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What did the carrot say to the other carrot?
We are both carrots.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him why the long face..
They horse unable to understand English shiтs on the floor and leaves.

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If there are 3 apples and johnny takes 3, how many does johnny have? It doesn't matter, he was hit by a train

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Last Christmas,
I gave you my heart,
The very next day,
Your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree."
"Are you a tree?"
"No."

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Why did the owl fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead
Why did the second owl fall out of the tree?
Because it was stapled to the first owl

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