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Meek Mill's real name is Robert Williams and Rick Ross' real name is William Roberts. There's something up with that...
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*watching t. V*
"Dominos made with real cheese"
Me:so wтf did y'all use before?
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What would happen if samara
(from the ring) is coming out of
The t. V and you change the channel Before her whole body comes out?
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Do u know what Helen kellers house looked like?
Neither did she
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Q. Why did Barney explode?
A. Who f**king cares?
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Kickass if you are sick of these роор and -Tucker jokes
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I miss New York. I miss the subways, believe it or not. So, what I do is I have a tape recording of just the sound of the subway, and every morning, I get up, I go into my closet, I close the door, I put the tape on, and I just hang there with my clothes for a while. Then I turn to my overcoat, and I go, 'No, you shut up, pal, alright?' Then I stab myself a few times, and I feel like I'm home.
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Let the batman go cuz batman returns .
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Trying to give my kids an education in Los Angeles is a nightmare. The guns, the gangs, the drugs -- and I'm home schooling them.
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They were tired because they had to go every day and clean up the grave, clean up condoms and вееr cans and bottles, needles, trash all over the place. That's what's so cool -- when you're getting kicked out for partying, and you've been dead since 1971.
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When the sisters fight, you know who won the fight because there'll be extensions all over the floor.
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Every year for my birthday, she would make me a birthday cake from scratch, and then she would let me liск the egg beaters. And then she would turn them on, and that would hurt my tongue.
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Never tell your BFF that they're your BFF...
It leads to an awkward silence and then "ОМG! really?" And then "Well_______ is my BFF so sorry!" That's what my BFF did anyway, wait... Hey that somehow was all my imagination!!!!
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What's grosser than gross?
Giving your grandmother оrаl sеx. And then hitting your head on the coffin lid.
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Kickass if star wars is better then star Trek
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I refuse to go to the bathroom on an airplane because if I'm gonna die in a cartwheeling ball of flames, it is not gonna be in a flying outhouse with my pants around my ankles.
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I, too, have a conspiracy theory. I believe that Einstein was killed by the mafia because he knew too much.
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Hitchhikers see me coming, they hide behind trees. I'm so miserable, I pull over anyways:
'Come on -- hop in and stab me. Let's get it over with.'
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