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Dirty jokes

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You: do you like tapes and CD's?
Friend: ya why?
You: good because you're going to CD's nuts when I tape my diск to your face!
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Roses are red
Nuts are brown
Skirts go up
Pants go down
Body to body Skin to skin
When its stiff
Stick it in
The Longer its in
The Stronger it gets
It goes in dry And comes out wet
It comes out dripping And starts to sag
Its not what you think......
Its a Teabag
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I hate auto correct; accidentally sent my grandmother a text saying "sеx tomorrow?" I meant today...
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What do gаy guys and boats have in common?
A but load of see men!
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So, a kid happens to see his mom nакеd and asks, pointing to her vаginа, "What is that?" The mom replies,
"That is my house." She responds. A little while later the kid sees his dad nакеd and asks the same question. "Well, son, that is the Big Bad Wolf," responds the dad. Some time goes bye and the kid goes into his parents bedroom, while they are amidst sеx. "Hey mom," pipes the kid, "watch out! I think the Big Bad Wolf just walked into your house and shot the piggie!"
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When girls be like, "SUСК MY DIСК!" Everybody laughs, but when boys yell, "EAT MY РUSSУ!" Shiт gets awkward.
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Which оrgаn in the female body remains warm after death? My соск.
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Guy- hey wanna play house? cuz u could be the door and ill slam ya
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Their is a guy at the bar, and he sees this hot chick at a table and goes up to her and orders drinks for themselves. After a few drinks, the girl and guy head back to the guys place.
After the two are done making out, they girl gets completely undressed immediately. The guy however, takes off his shirt, washes his hands, takes off his pants and washes his hands, takes off his shoes and socks and washes his hands.
The girl then says "You must be a dentist" The guy reply's "Well, yeah I actually am a dentist, how did you know?" The girl then reply's "You wash you hands after every time you take your cloths off". They then have sеx and after they are all done, the girl then says "You must be a really good dentist". The guy bragging then says "Well, yeah I guess I am a really good dentist, how did you know?" Then the girl says "I didn't feel a thing".
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The catholic church teaches to swallow before you chew. george margevicious learned this the hard way.
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Save electricity!
How would you like it if someone turned you on then left.
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Middle schoolers 10 years ago: the wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round.
Middle schoolers now: me diск in her pussey goes in and out. In and out.
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Your вrеаsтs remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.
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Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
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Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
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Girl: How much do you love me?
Boy: E,F,G,H,I,J,K
Girl: What does that mean?
Boy: Entertaining, Gorgeous, Hot, Intelligent
Girl: What does J, K, mean?
Boy: Just Kidding Вiтсh!
Girl:
- _-
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From now on, instead of saying "you're welcome". I'm gonna start saying "you're whalecum".
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Why is аnаl sеx like a microwave?
Both can brown your meat without cooking it
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