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Dirty jokes

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I wonder what the first girl to ever get her period was thinking.
"Well get me a fry, I'm a ketchup dispenser!"
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There was a black man, a Mexican, and an Asian in a car. A gаy cop pulls them over near a rest-stop. The cop says,
"I'll let you guys go if the total of your diскs reaches 10 inches long. Drop some trou' or it's off to the clink."
"Mine is 7", says the black man proudly as he displayed it. "Well done", said the impressed cop. The Mexican pulled down his pants to reveal a 2 and 1/2 incher. The Asian shrieked, "I swear that I have at least a half-inch part! I will not show you it! I never tell a lie!". The cop sniffed, "Fine, I didn't want to see yours anyway".
As the three were driving away, the Asian smirked, "Ha! You both lucky I had воnеr!"
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I don't get it. If sреrм contains more life than blood, then why don't vampires suск diск?
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Three words to ruin a man's ego...? "Is it in?"
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Did you hear about the guy who died of a Viаgrа overdose? They couldn't close his casket.
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TEACHER: I shot Five Birds, Two of them are dead. how many are left??
STUDENT: None. The others flew away bcoz of the sound of the gun.
TEACHER: No, It's a Math problem.. but I like your Style..
STUDENT: So, I have a question for you teacher... Three women were eating ice cream. One of them is Licking it. The other one, Suскing it and the Last one, Biting it.. Which one is Married??
TEACHER: The Suскing One.
STUDENT: No, The one with the ring on her finger, But I like your Style...
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Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Your mouth is so big,
You can probably fit two
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A construction worker is working on the 10th floor when he relizes he needs a saw so he looks down and sees a fellow worker. So not wanting to go back down, he waits till he looks up and points to his eye for (i), then points to his knee for (need) and moved his hand back and forth in a saw motion. The fellow worker then proceeded to pull down his pants whip his соск out and started маsтurватing ferociously. The worker on the 10th floor gets very angry goes down there and says,
"What the fuск are you doing!?" The guy says,
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm coming."
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If a воnеr is considered a feeling, then yes... I do have feelings for you.
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The truck driver stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in short shorts. "Say, what's your name, mister? " she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. "It's Snow, Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours? "I'm June, June Hansen," she said. "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances? " she challenged the trucker some miles down the road. "Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered with a question of his own, "Having eight inches of Snow in June? "
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Black ops 2 dirтy joke for a girl:
I get more first bloods than a seventh grade girls bathroom!
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A poem you never want to get from an ex.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I enjoyed our screw
But i gave you сrавs too...
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There was a реnis and an orange they were arguing about whose life is the worst the orange said "my life is the worst because i get pealed and eaten" and the реnis said "my life is the worst because i get a bag put over my head and forced to do push-ups until i am sick"
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Their was four women right? and they all had a counsling session together. it was a class for addictions. so the coulsler guy turns to the group. " ok all of your addictions reflect in the name of your child." he looks at the first lady... your addicted to money theirfor your doughters name is penny. he turns to the second one. your addicted to food, and so your doughers name is kandi, he turns to the third one, and your adicted to метh, and ur doughters name is cristal, then he turns to the fourth women, and before he could say a word the lady stands up and says stop. then she grabs her sons hand and begins to leave... "c'mon diск were leaving".
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New STD called "feelings", Don't catch that shiт.
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It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman. It doesn't matter if its visa or master card.
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You deserve a hаndjов from Edward Scissorhands.
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A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart аss guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sеxuаl exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
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