Geek jokes

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It is a fact of nature that light arrives faster than
Sound. Which is why some people can appear quite bright, until they
Speak.

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IT paradox?
The warmer a computer becomes, the more it freezes.

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Why did Thor lose his power of lightning as a
Teenager?
Because he got grounded.

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A superconductor comes into a bar.
"Hey!" says the barkeep, "we don't serve
Superconductors!"
The superconductor didn't put up any resistance.

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Last words of a Jedi apprentice, "Of course I
Know which side the light saber comes out!"

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What should I put on my tofu burger?
A curse!

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Stephen Hawking died.
Have you tried turning him off and on again?

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Jokes about communism are only good if everybody gets
Them.

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My iPod is in Titanic mode right now. It is syncing.

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A programmer gets shopping instructions from his
Wife: Go buy a cauliflower. If they have oranges, get two dozens. He
Comes home with 24 cauliflowers.

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A web designer is filling out a form:
Age: 31
Height: 5'9"
Eye color: #008000

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Two admins are talking, "This friend of mine
Shot down the main server yesterday within minutes."
"So what is he, like, a hacker?"
"No, an imbecile."

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Intelligent Jokes

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Beethoven: So what up, guys? Are you ready for some serious
Symphonies?
Excited crowd: YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!
Beethoven: I can't hear you!!!

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Mother:
"Oh my Lord, your room is such a mess!
Why are there so many things on the floor?"
Son:
"Come on mom, duh. Gravity, of course!"

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A young, dynamic software company is looking for a
Hacker. Please leave your structured CV in our "HUB_01"
Computer in the C:/Documents/Applicants folder.

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God is dead. (Friedrich Nietzsche, 1882)
Nietzsche is dead. (God, 1900)

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Christmas at the Schrödingers' was a rather
Awkward affair. Even days after Christmas, boxes were lying under the
Christmas tree that nobody dared open.

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