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Insults

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My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
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Yo mama is so fат that when she asked, “Why is the grass always greener on the other side?” everyone replied, “'Cause you aren't standing on it.”
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Yo' Mama is so poor, when you ring her doorbell, she sticks her head out the window and yells, "DING DОNG!"
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Yo mama is so sтuрid, she was looking for bluetooth at the orthodontist.
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A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland.
As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used.
She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing.
"These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce."
She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?"
A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"
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Yo mama so nasty that when she goes to the universal studios children follow her shouting "Shrek! Shrek!"
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Yo mammas breath so nasty that when she burps her teeth have to duck.
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Yo Mama's so dumb she waited all day at a stop sign.
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Yo mamma is like the sun, stare at her and you'll go blind.
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Yo momma so sтuрid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
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Dear haters, I can't help but notice that awesome ends in ME and ugly starts with U.
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Yo' mama got such bad dandruff, the principal declared a snow day!
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Yo' Mama is so poor, when she picks a вооgеr, she yells, "Clap your hands and stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got meat!"
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Yo mamma so sтuрid, when I said lets hit the dance floor, she stated hitting it.
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Σου δίνω το λόγο μου... Старецот Един старец отива в аптеката и с последните пари си купува виагра. Прибира се в къщи и решава да изненада бабата. A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. Един папагал пил виагра и започнал да оправя всичко що мърда в двора- кокошки Un prestigiatore è disperato: il suo pappagallo parlante dice un numero eccessivo di parolacce e lo mette in imbarazzo durante gli spettacoli. Decide quindi di dargli una lezione facendogli prendere un brutto spavento: lo toglie dalla gabbia En man får äntligen sitt recept på Viagra och hämtar snabbt ut pillren på apoteket. Ivrig att testa så tar han ett piller så fort han kommer hem Ein Mann kauft sich Viagra-Tabletten. Kommt sein Papagei und frisst sie alle auf. Sagt der Mann: "Oh Gott Mies sai lääkäriltä paketin viagraa. Ennenkuin mies ehti ottaa yhtään Mannen hade en papegoja som käkade upp alla husses viagra och for runt i huset och försökte sätta på allt han såg. Till slut tröttnade husse Un tip a cumparat un flacon de VIAGRA si dupa ce si-a luat o pastila
A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home.
But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson.
He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet.
The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
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Yo' Mama is like a blimp: a huge spectacle that's full of gas.
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A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention.
The Harvard graduate said, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands at Yale?"
The Yale grad responded, "They taught us not to рiss on our hands."
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Yo momma's so slow when she crossed the street she got a parking ticket.
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