Insults

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You are so dimwitted even the blackhole night sky looks brighter than you.

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Bully:Since your so tall do you play basketball(laughs)
Me:And since your so short do you play MINI GOLF (everyone is silent)

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Rude boy: nice tits
Me: if your going to be a rude аss, at least try to do it right. I do not have "nice тiтs" I have fantastic вrеаsтs.

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Mean Guy on CoD: Kid your ваlls haven't even dropped yet...
Kid: They did in your moms mouth!

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*texting a friend*
Me: Hey what's up?
Friend: NOthiNg MucH.
Me: Um, ok. Did you hear about the new kid?
Friend: YeAH hE's iN mY sEcoND HoUr.
Me: dude, I think your cap locks is having a seizure.
Friend: nO iT'S nOt.
Me: Check again, and this time actually look at your phone, not your diск. It's never gonna grow long enough.

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Fат guy: Hey fаggот!
Me: You should rub your belly for good luck, chuck! Because when somebody said launch, you thought they said lunch!

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Loser: Wow dude, such a fail!
Me: Like your plastic surgery.

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Guy:you suск hahah
Me:and you swallow
Guy:and you spit
Me:and you choke!
Guy:.....

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Idiот college called, they want there mascot back.

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Student: can I use the bathroom?
Substitute: I don't know can you?
Student I don't know can you get a full time job?!?

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Diск: You're a аss, you are what you eat!
Me: Yeah, my diск's been eating your mom's аss, you diск.

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I saw a guy today who had rings and hooks and pens and antennas hanging out his cheeks and his eyebrows. Looked like somebody hit him in the head with a tackle box.

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Your forehead is so big you donated it to charity for shelter!

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Me:whatup gaylord
Guy:how am i gаy if i f*cked your mom?
Classandteacher:OHHHHH SHIT
Me: how is that possible if you dont have a dick
ClassandteacherANMMMMMMMMM OHHHHH
Guy:......

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You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.

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Me: Dаммiт i didn't pass my test
Friend: HAH, fail
Me: :(... Your dads соndом was a fail

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Friend: I know what you are but what am I ?
You: I don't want to tell you cause then I'll make you cry
Friend: Look in the mirror and you'll see why
You: Well, that's why hello kitty doesn't want to say hi

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Friend: You wanna hangout today?
Me: I can't, I am grounded.
Friend: For what?
Me: My mom and I got in an argument, and she said,
"SON OF A ВIТСН!" so I said,
"Yes, i am a son of a вiтсh!"
Friend: HAHAHA That's why you are my friend. xD

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