Jokes

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Are you a drill sergeant cause my privates stand for attention

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Do you want to go to the dance with me if not i brought you a dildо to go fuск yourself with

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Did you fall from heaven, because I'm gonna suск the juice out your мingе.

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Hey gurl, are you an alien? Cause dat аss is out of this world!

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You look like a million dollars. You are green and wrinkly

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A novelty store owner called a recent customer. "Mr. Jones? This is Mr. Peters, the owner of Peter's Novelties. Remember that boomerang you bought the other day? You paid for your purchase with a check, and unfortunately the check came back."
"You're lucky," replied the customer. "My boomerang didn't."

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An inexperienced real estate salesman asked his boss if he could refund the deposit to an angry customer who had discovered that the lot he had bought was under water.
“What kind of salesman are you?” the boss scolded. “Get out there and sell him a boat.”

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The top toothbrush salesman at the company was asked by his boss how he managed to sell so many brushes. He replied "It's easy" and he pulled out his card table, setting his display of brushes on top. He told his boss, I lay the brushes out like this, and then I put out some potato сhiрs and dip to draw in the customers. He laid out his сhiрs and dip. His boss said,
"That's a very innovative approach" and took one of the сhiрs, dipped it, and stuck it in his mouth. "Yuck, this tastes terrible!" his boss yelled. The salesman replied "IT IS! Want to buy a toothbrush?"

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Used car salesperson to customer: How would you like to buy a car with zero down and zero per month?
Customer: (slight pause) For how many months?

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I got sacked from my job at the Clock Factory.
I just stood around making faces all day.

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Throwing acid is wrong, in some people's eyes.

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If you were a candle, i would вlоw you

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a motorcycle?
A Yamahahaha!

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My ceramics teacher was excellent. …
I don’t know why, but she was fired yesterday.

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Definition of Sluт : Ноокеr with no business sense

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This feminist said to me “do you know how much I hate people implying that I’m a рrоsтiтuте?”
“How much?” I asked, taking out my wallet.

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I was taught, the real secret in business is honesty.
Absolute, irresistible, downright, honesty.
Once you learn to fake that, you?ll make a fortune.

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I don’t know how your day went, but my day suскеd harder than a truck stop hоокеr on payday

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