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Why was Stephen hawkings wife mad at
She cought him having an afair with his shoulder

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Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
How did they know Princess Diana had Dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment.

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I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions

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We all hear cause we cut our selfs right
I mean
Jk

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What’s an emo’s favorite Pink Floyd album?
The Final Cut.

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Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood

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Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

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Roses are red my blood is too i see a lot when i lost u

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Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued your blood was delectable and so was the rest of you.

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Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I dont know if you heard it but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I cant tell if it is metal or techno but it is more vaulable then joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.

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Jack and jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy Jack got a surprise and blood shot eyes because jill gave him a roofie

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I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.

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What do you call a musician 👩‍🎤 who drinks soda and sings 🎤 at the same time?
A popsinger.

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Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher. Its [SODAPRESSING]

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Did you hear about the man that got fired from is can job? It was soda-pressing

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What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi

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What did the banana say to the banana
U look a-pealing

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