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Things not to say during a fight to your blind lover.
Why can't you see the damage you've caused?
It's an eye for an eye nowadays.

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Honk if you love peace and quiet!

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For poker playing plumbers, a flush beats a full house.

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The whоrе has come to save you

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An early morning storm produced a strong tornado, which damaged most of the roof of a Pasadena, Texas funeral home. Everyone there was scared stiff.

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Gаy jokes aren't funny. Сuм on guys.

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I just watched a new African game show where contestants have 23 red boxes to open with prizes ranging from a grain of rice to a roast dinner.
Meal or no meal.

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Parody of 'A,B,C'
A,b,c,d,e,f,g
Gummy bears are chasing me.
One is red, One is blue,
One is peeing on my shoe.
Now I'm running for my life,
Cause the red one has a knife

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Burying your head in the sand doesn't make your problems go away.
It does, however, create a new problem.
Makes you a great target for people who like to kick вuтт and really get things done.

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Chicago: One hand on wheel, one hand on horn.
New York: One hand on wheel, one finger out window.
New Jersey: One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic.
Boston: One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator.

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The following conversation took place while using a Ouija board.
Me: Will I ever find true love?
Ouija board: W O U L D U L I K E S O M E T E A
Me: Not now grandma, I’m busy.

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Can’t believe how dangerous the streets are becoming! Just this afternoon I stole an old ladys handbag and punched someone at a bus stop.

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COMMUTERS. When you leave your house, sprint the first 200 yards and then revert back to your regular walking speed. This will save you from having to do the run of shame for the bus nearer the stop and look like a fool when you miss it.

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A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy.

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I was going to tell you the joke about the pencil, but there's really no point to it.

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I really like Trees, they really "spruce" the place up.

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Puna about air conditioners,not a fan

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Ive been trying to make a Rhino joke.
But its making me hоrny....

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