Jokes

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I broke my finger today, but on the other hand, I'm completely fine!

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I don’t always roll a joint, but when I do it’s my ankle.

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I am reading a book about Japanese Sword-Fighting, would you like me to samuarise it?

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My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead.

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"I hate tacos" said no Juan ever

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What do you get when you goose a ghost?
A handful of sheet.

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Why can't you run through a camp? It'd be ran, because it's past tents.

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You're walking down the street and your toe falls off!
Who do you call?
You call a tow truck!

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What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? Wataaaaahh!

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I would make a pun about mirrors but its not really a good reflection of my pun ability skills and people might сrаск up.

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Q:What did the сhiрs say to the plate that fell off a stool
A:I hope u didnt get chipped
Kickass if u get it

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You stole my heart.
Now you're going into cardiac arrest.

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Why did the piece of cheese go to the gym?
To get shredded!

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Someone really close to me died yesterday. Luckily the train wasn’t very busy so I just moved seats.

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What has eight wheels but carries only one passenger?
A pair of roller skates.

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A guy is passing a Mental Hospital surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Curious to see what’s going on he finds a small hole in the wall, so he bends and peeks inside. Someone inside pokes him hard in the eye and everyone starts inside chanting, Fourteen! Fourtee! Fourteen!

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Why are frogs so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them!
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
What does a bankrupt frog say?
"Baroke, baroke, baroke."

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Oh My Goodness!! Guys, Rob is ROBIN the bird store!!!!

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