Light bulb jokes

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How many Microsoft technicians does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
None, they would just declare darkness the new standard TM

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How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.

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Q: How many hipsters does it take to sсrеw in a lightbulb?
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.

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How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
200. Ten to attach the bulb to the sun, and 190 to make the sun revolve around the Earth.

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How did the black guy escape from jail?
He unscrewed the light bulbs.

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How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.

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What did the light bulb say to the switch? "You turn me on."

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How many men does it take to sсrеw a light bulb?
A. One - men will sсrеw anything.
B. One - men will sсrеw up anything.
C. Five - one to actually do the sсrеwing, four to listen to him brag about it.

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If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen?
The first one would say its causing global warming.
The second one would say its racist.
The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.

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Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and вiтсh about the lack of obscure features!

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How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Four.
One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.

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Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs!

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends on how clumsy you are.

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Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one, but millions volunteered to get rid of anything dark

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Yo' Mama is so fат, when I sсrеwеd her, I burnt my аss on the light bulb.

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How many IBM employees does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
10,000: one to hold up the light bulb, and 9,999 to turn the building around.

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How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?
That light bulb's never getting changed.

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How many cops does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Just one, but he is never around when you need him.

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