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  2. Light bulb jokes

Light bulb jokes

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Q: How many mice does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: Two, if they're small enough.
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How many Germans does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Just one. They’re fiercely efficient and not really given to jokes.
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How many blondes does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Too many to count.
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How Many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer 10

1 to change it and 9 to sing about how good the old one was ;-)
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Question: Why should you never ask a skeleton to change a light bulb?

Answer: Cause no body will show up.
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How many surrealists does it take to sсrеw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the giraffe, and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
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Q: "How many grandmothers does it take to change a light bulb?"

A: "None. I'll sit in the dark. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me..."
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How many astronauts does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two astronauts to change a light bulb. Astronaut number one to hold the light bulb and astronaut number two to rotate astronaut number one.
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Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven. Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead (although he'll immediately claim that he's a doctor, not an electrician). Scotty, after checking around, realizes that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he "canna" see in the dark. Kirk will make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives, who, are friendly, but seem to be hiding something. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two red shirt security officers beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. As something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand, Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a Klingon destroyer and must warp out of orbit. Although badly outgunned, he cripples the Klingon and races back to the planet in order to rescue Kirk who has just saved the natives from an awful fate and, as a reward, been given all light bulbs they can carry. The new bulb is then inserted and the Enterprise continues on its five year mission.
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Q: How many folk singers does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: Two - One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
Q: How many gorillas does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it sure takes a whole lot of light bulbs!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to put it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to put in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure everyone that everything possible is being done while the other inserts the bulb into the water faucet.
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How many PHILOSOPHERS does it take to change a light bulb?

TWO: One to argue it's not dark. The other to argue that true light is impossible.
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Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't know
How many babys does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
Must be more then 9 cause my basement is still dark
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How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
…just kidding-
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How many quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he’s standing on, and one to sing “Allouette, gentille allouette!”
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Did you hear about the light bulb party— yeah it was pretty lit!
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Why does it take three women with РМS to sсrеw in a lightbulb?
It just does!!!
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