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  2. Poems jokes, Funny Poems

Poems jokes, Funny Poems

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AT WORK, Michael: Why you white guys always so happy?
Casey: Because I make love to my wife every morning before work.
Michael: Say whaaat? You get her to make love EVERY morning? How do you do that?
Casey: It's easy, I just say a poem, women love poems and will fall for them all the time.
Michael: Ok, what kind of poem can you say to make her make love every morning?
Casey: I say, "blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes of blue, I love to wake up and make love to you.
Michael: HAHAAA she falls for that?
Casey: yes you should try it.
NEXT DAY TYRONE COMES IN WITH BLACK EYE FАТ LIP AND A TOOTH MISSING.
Casey: What happened to you?
Michael: Well, I said a poem to my wife and she didn't like it.
Casey: She didn't like it? What did you say?
Michael: Nаррy head, nаррy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fат аss over I would do you like a dog.
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Birdie, birdie, in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye,I'm a big girl, I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
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To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland":
Dog tags ring, are you listening'?
In the lane, snow is glistening.
It's yellow, not white - I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.
Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wandering vagrants;
"Avoid where I рее, it's my property.
Marked up as my winter wonderland."
In the meadow dad will build a snowman,
following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man,
So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine!
Straight from me to the fence post,
flows my natural incense boast,
"Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth,
I mark it as my winter wonderland."
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99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
1 bug fixed...
Compile again,
100 little bugs in the code.
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Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?"
Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied.
"Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey.
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I'll be there too.
Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
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Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
Fuck a virgin
Not a sluт.
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Roses are red, violets are blue...
I'm in love but not with you...
When we broke up you thought I cried
But all it was...
Was another guy,
You told your friends that I was a trick,
I told mine that you had a weak diск...
I said I loved you
And you thought it was true,
But guess what baby?!
You got played too!
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Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.
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Roses are red
tulips are black.
You'd look great
with a knife in your back.
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There once was a girl named Pinkie who desired to have a little inky,
When the notion of the motion was planted,
In her dinky little head.
With her вuтт in the air,
While the man in the sidecar tattooed her derriere 100 miles per hour down I 45 to bike fest.
Drunk and sтuрid and would not listen,
Smeared beyond recognition,
She said it was Tinker Веll but we couldn't tell O well.
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A javelin thrower called Vicky
Found the grip of her javelin sticky.
When it came to the throw
She couldn't let go.
Making judging the distance quite tricky.
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Humpty Dumpty sat on a rock.
Little Bo Peep was suскing his соск.
As soon as he came she started to weep.She could tell by the taste he was shаgging her sheep.
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Roses are red "just like blood"
Violets are blue "just like when I stab your face and shuve it in poo"
So have you lurned that when I stab you blood comes out
And shows me 1 thing your shiт.
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Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.
Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its bum
and turned its wool to nylon.
Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gаy.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it’s black and crispy.
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Here’s to the girl in the little red shoes …
She likes her nookie, she likes her вооzе …
She lost her cherry but that’s no sin, …
She still has the box that the cherry came in!
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“Nothing attracts
The mustard from wieners
As much as the slacks
Just back from the cleaners.”
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There was a young man from PeruWho fell asleep in a canoe.
He dreamt that Venus Was strokin' his penisAnd woke with a handful of goo.
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My wife's face is green.
The room is now pink.
I think she yelled at me,
"That's your 21st drink!"
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