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Witze über Polizisten
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Une fois
Вчера се обадих на полицията на моето собствено парти
I once called the police on my own party because i wanted to go to bed
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Ходих да купя хляб. Но след като я видях
Отидов да купам леб. Ама кога ја видов
Fui a comprar pan. Pero después de verla
Я пошёл купить хлеб. Но увидев её
Ich wollte Brot kaufen. Aber nachdem ich sie sah
Je suis allé acheter du pain. Mais après l’avoir vue
Πήγα να αγοράσω ψωμί. Αλλά όταν την είδα
Sono andato a comprare il pane. Ma dopo averla vista
Ekmek almaya gittim. Ama onu görünce çalmaya karar verdim
Я пішов купити хліб. Але побачивши її
Fui comprar pão. Mas depois de a ver
Poszedłem kupić chleb. Ale kiedy ją zobaczyłem
Jag gick för att köpa bröd. Men efter att ha sett henne bestämde jag mig för att stjäla det
Ik ging brood kopen. Maar toen ik haar zag
Jeg gik for at købe brød. Men da jeg så hende
Jeg dro for å kjøpe brød. Men da jeg så henne
Menin ostamaan leipää. Mutta kun näin hänet
Elmentem kenyeret venni. De miután megláttam őt
M-am dus să cumpăr pâine. Dar după ce am văzut-o
Šel jsem koupit chleba. Ale když jsem ji uviděl
Nuėjau pirkti duonos. Bet pamatęs ją
Gāju pirkt maizi. Bet
Išao sam kupiti kruh. Ali kad sam je vidio
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Чудя се
Се прашувам
Me pregunto por qué la estarán multando.
Интересно
Ich frage mich
Je me demande pourquoi elle se fait verbaliser.
Αναρωτιέμαι
Mi chiedo per cosa la stiano multando?!
Acaba merak ediyorum
Цікаво
Fico imaginando pelo que ela está sendo multada?!
Zastanawiam się
Jag undrar vad hon får böter för?!
Ik vraag me af waarvoor ze een boete krijgt?!
Jeg spekulerer på
Jeg lurer på hva hun får bot for?!
Mietin
Kíváncsi vagyok
Mă întreb pentru ce o amendează?!
Zajímalo by mě
Įdomu
Interesē
Pitam se
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Както казвах
Како што кажував
Como le estaba diciendo
Как я и говорил
Wie ich schon sagte
Comme je le disais
Όπως έλεγα
Come dicevo
Dediğim gibi memur bey
Як я казав
Como eu estava dizendo
Jak już mówiłem
Som jag sa
Zoals ik al zei
Som jeg sagde
Som jeg sa
Kuten sanoin
Ahogy mondtam
Сuм spuneam
Jak jsem říkal
Kaip sakiau
Kā jau teicu
Kao što rekoh
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Lisette met twee t's
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Lester Barrie: Hated to See My Mother Coming.
I got whupped so much, sometimes I hated to see my mother coming. I'm having fun with my brothers, my sisters, my friends - my mother pulls up, and I'm thinking, 'Dang! Why she keep coming here? Can't she just drop off the food and stay at work?'
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Classic Воотy Call... Thief:
Hello, I'm a thief. And I'm here to steal your heart.
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They're the only federal employee that I can think of that, at any point, they can flip you over and look in your вuтт.
That's too much power, and I don't remember voting for that, do you?
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Yo' Mama is so sтuрid, she reported her stolen сrаск to the cops.
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A policeman pulls a driver over for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to вlоw into a breathalyzer."I can't do that, officer - I'm an asthmatic. I could hae an asthma attack if I вlоw into that tube."
"OK, we'll just get a urinе sample down at the station."
"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I рее in a cup."
"Alright, we could get a blood sample."
"Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."
"Fine then, just walk this white line."
"Can't do that either, officer."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm drunк."
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You Know You're Out Of College When...
1. Your salary is less than your tuition.
2. Your potted plants stay alive.
3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
4. You keep more food than вееr in the fridge.
5. You have to pay your own credit card bill.
6. Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.
7. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year.
8. 8:00a.m. is not early.
9. You have to file for your own taxes.
10. You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
11. You're not carded anymore.
12. You carry an umbrella.
13. You learn that "Bachelor" is a nicer term for a jаскаss.
14. "Extended childhood" only really pertains to your salary, which is a little less than your allowance used to be.
15. "Twenty-something" means over-qualified, under-paid, and not married.
16. Your friends marry instead of hook-up, and divorce instead of break-up.
17. You start watching the weather channel.
18. Jeans and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.
19. You can no longer take shots, and smoking gives you a sinus attack.
20. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
21. You stop confusing 401K plan with 10K run.
22. You go to parties that the police don't raid.
23. Adults feel comfortable telling jokes about sеx in front of you.
24. You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore.
25. Your car insurance goes down.
26. You refer to college students as kids.
27. You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of вееr, bourbon, and ruм.
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A policeman stops a motorist and asks, "Excuse me, Sir, have you been drinking?"
The motorist says, "Why - do I got an ugly girl next to me?"
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Q: How many mice does it take to sсrеw in a light bulb?
A: Two, if they're small enough.
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Върви си един човек и вижда двама педерасти еднакво облечени.
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing and I asked if they were gаy. They quickly arrested me.
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Police officer to a driver: “OK, driver’s license, vehicle license, first aid kit and warning triangle.”
Driver: “Nah, I’ve already got all that. But how much for that funny Captain’s cap?“
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- Ursäkta frun
Un hombre va por la calle y le sale un tío que le pregunta: - Señor
En mand spørger den ældre dame. “Hva så
“Excuse me, sir, have you seen a police officer around?”
“No, not a soul, actually.”
“Very good, now give me your wallet, watch and laptop!”
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Police: Do you know why we stopped you?
Man: No, I’m as baffled as you are!
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Police stops a man in his car.
Police: Sir, what’s in that bottle?
Man replies: Water.
Police: [sniffs] It smells like wine!
Man: Oh no, Jesus did it again!
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