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Вицове за полицаи English Witze über Polizisten Chistes sobre policías Шутки про полицейских Blagues sur les policiers Barzellette sui poliziotti Ανέκδοτα για αστυνομικούς Вицеви за полицајци Polisler hakkında fıkralar Жарти про поліцейських Piadas sobre policiais Żarty o policjantach Skämt om poliser Grappen over politieagenten Vittigheder om politibetjente Vitser om politifolk Vitsit poliiseista Viccek rendőrökről Glume despre polițiști Vtipy o policistech Anekdotai apie policininkus Joki par policistiem Vicevi o policajcima
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Jokes about Police Officers

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Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
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When you realize the best police cars in America are in Sandwich, Illinois... When you realize the best police cars in America are in Sandwich, Illinois...
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NYPD  officer beating an unarmed black man, while another officer stands by and does nothing
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We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
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The toilet at my local police station has been stolen. The cops have nothing to go on.
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A cop stopped a guy for speeding.
He said, “Do you know how fast you were going?”
“I was trying to keep up with traffic,” the guy replied.
The cop said, “But there is no traffic.”
And the guy answered, “That’s how far behind I am.”
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Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.”
“I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.”
“Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.”
“Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.”
“Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urinе sample.”
“Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.”
“Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.”
“Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunк!”
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В КАТ:
My wife crashed her car yesterday. She told the Police that the man she collided with was on his mobile and drinking вееr from a can at the time.
The Police said that the gentleman was entitled to do what ever he wanted in his own back garden.
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If you Kickass i will call the police for no reason
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I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gаy. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
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The cops are still searching for my wife’s killer.
Luckily I already fled the country.
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One day a snail got robbed by 2 turtles, once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, Snail said “I dont know it all happed to fast”!
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Officer, I'm telling you, speed is relative
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The police in my town just installed this speed radar.  The police in my town also have the maturity level of a teenage boy. Speed limit 30. 69 Nice!
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Snow won't save you from getting a parking ticket
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Знаете ли защо ви спрях? Защото ви позволих
Officer: do you know why I've stopped you today, sir? Carl: because I let you
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Lester Barrie: Hated to See My Mother Coming.
I got whupped so much, sometimes I hated to see my mother coming. I'm having fun with my brothers, my sisters, my friends - my mother pulls up, and I'm thinking, 'Dang! Why she keep coming here? Can't she just drop off the food and stay at work?'
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Classic Воотy Call... Thief:
Hello, I'm a thief. And I'm here to steal your heart.
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