Jokes about Police Officers

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A Navy man and an Army man are driving opposite directions on a curvy mountain road. The army man hits a patch of sand, swerves, and nails the Navy man's truck. They both exit their cars with no injuries, but their vehicles are ruined.
Now, the rivalry between Army and Navy is well known, so needless to say a heated argument followed. Then suddenly the Navy man changed heart and said,
"Hold on, this is dumb. It was an accident. Let's put this rivalry behind us."
The Army man agreed this was a good idea. So the Navy man offered, "Why don't we celebrate our new friendship over a fifth of vоdка? I have a bottle in the truck."
The Army man thought this was an excellent idea. So the Navy man, being a gentleman, offered the Army man the first drink, and told the Army man to drink as much as he wanted. Soon half the bottle was gone and he offered the bottle back to the Navy man who said,
"Thanks, but I'll wait till after the cops get here!"
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An old man was tired from riding his bike, and decided to hitch hike. A guy in his red Corvette pulled up to give him a lift. When the old man brought out his bike that he had leaned up against a tree, the driver said,
"I have no room for your bike in my car, but I'd like to help you in someway seeing you standing here in the hot sun." After a few seconds of thought, the driver said,
"I know what we can do. I have a rope behind my seat. I'll tie one end of it to the rear end of my car and the other end to the front your bike. You ride your bike, and I'll give you this whistle. If I go too fast for you, just вlоw your whistle and I'll slow down." The old guy agreed to it. So off he went down the highway with the old man and his bike in tow. A little ways down the rode, a young lady in a bright yellow corvette pulls up next to them. She gives the guy in the red Vette the High Sign, meaning "you want a drag?" Off they go down the highway, 100 plus MPH, the old man blowing his whistle like crazy. They zipped by a Highway Patrol cop sitting under a tree. The cop knew he couldn't catch them, so he called ahead to his fellow cop down the rode to intercept. "Car number 2, this is car number 1."
"Go head number 1, what'cha got for me?" I got a red and yellow Vettes come down your way doing hundred plus, can you intercept?"
"Ten-four, Is there anything else?"
"Yeah, you wouldn't believe this, but there is an old guy riding a bicycle blowing his whistle trying to pass."
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Mr. John Smith was travelling home after the annual Christmas office party. …
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He had had far more than the legal limit to drink and was pulled off at the road block for an alcohol test.. …
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He was asked to get out his car. The police delayed quite a bit in attending to him (There were plenty of drunken drivers on the road that night), so he decided to go home. …
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The next morning at 6.00AM there was a knock on his door, and it was the traffic police officers who asked, “Why did you leave the roadblock last evening ?” … …
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Mr Smith denied this, saying that he was home the whole evening.
He was then instructed to open his garage door.
When this was done, the police officer asked him, “Mr Smith, if you were home all evening, can you please explain what this police car is doing in your garage ?”
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Was ist los? Семейството на Иванчо живеели в едностаен апартамент. Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. Zenek i Maria uznali Подружня пара. Чоловік каже: - Люба Os pais do Joãozinho descobriram que o único jeito de se livrarem de seu filho de sete anos por algumas horas no domingo para fazerem sexo seria colocá-lo na varanda do apartamento e pedir para ele... Het is zondagmiddag en de ouders van Jantje hebben onweerstaanbare zin in een potje sex. Helaas Johan och Maria kom underfund med att det enda sättet att få till en söndagssnabbis var att skicka ut deras tioårige son på balkongen för att rapportera vad som hände i grannskapet. Pojken... Móricka szülei C'est Samedi après-midi et Zé et Ginette ont une sacrée envie d'un peu d'intimité pour une partie de jambes en l'air. Malheureusement pour eux Les parents de Toto ont envie d’une petite après-midi coquine et intime. Ils demandent donc à leurs fils d’aller prendre l’air sur le balcon et de noter les activités des voisins. Sur le balcon Föräldrarna hade länge funderat över hur de skulle få till en söndagssnabbis utan att deras 10 åriga son Anders skulle se dem. De kom på att han kunde gå ut på balkongen och berätta vad som hände i... Vīrs ar sievu nolemj Wanting to have a quick love-making session Mama si tatal lui Bula stateau la garsoniera. Ei vroiau sa faca sex si nu stiau cum sa scape de Bula. Ii vine o idee tatalui : T: Bula ia iesi tu pe balcon si zi ce mai e pe afara. Bula se duce si... Nutarė Petriuko tėvai pasimylėti. Bet Petriukas vis namuose trinasi Ein junges Paar mit fünfjährigem Sohn hat keinen Babysitter gefunden
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A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted, behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said,
"Because I don't believe you are over 21."The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
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