An elderly man enters a jewelry store on a Friday night with a beautiful, much younger woman and states that he is looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler brings out a $5,000 ring. The man says,
"No, I'd like to see something more special."
The jeweler returns, this time with a $50,000 ring. The woman's eyes sparkle and the man seeing this, says,
"We'll take it! I will give you a check now, so you can verify the funds on Monday with the bank. I'll then pick up the ring that afternoon."
On Monday morning, the jeweler phones to tell the man, "Sir, there's no money in that account."
"I know," is my reply. "But let me tell you about my weekend!"
Recently a "Husband Shopping Center" opened in Dallas, where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out with five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.
A couple of girlfriends went to the place to find men. On the first floor the door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."
The women read the sign and said,
"Well, that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" so up they went.
The second floor said,
"These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good-looking."
"Hmmm," said the girls. "But I wonder what's further up?"
The third floor:
"These men have high-paying jobs, are extremely good-looking, love kids and help with the housework."
"Wow!" said the women. "Very tempting, BUT there's more further up!" and up they went.
Fourth floor:
"These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good-looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy! But just think what must be awaiting us further on!" So up to the fifth floor they went.
The sign on that floor said,
"This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please."