Religion jokes

Add a joke Newest jokes Most popular

A young nun went to inform the Mother Superior that she was pregnant.
Mother Superior was furious. She said how did this happen?
The young nun said Reverend Mother It was Father O'Malley from the catholic church up the road, and he lifted his cassock and showed me this thing which looked like a baby's arm holding a plum, and said it was Sаinт Peter, then he lifted my habit and pointed at my lady thing that looks like a cockerell's сhin, and told me that it was the Gates of Heaven, and that Sаinт Peter needed to come into the gates of heaven to make me a good Christian. And I believed him..
Reverend Mother was furious.
She said the lousy rotten ваsтаrd!.. He told me it was the Archangel Gabriel's horn and I have been blowing it every Sunday for 20 years!

1

0

What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs. What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!

1

0

How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.

1

0

What’s the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.

1

0

When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion.

1

0

I was in church this morning doing some press-ups and having a nice little workout when the vicar said, “What are you doing?”
I replied, “My doctor advised me to exercise religiously.”

1

0

I had my son baptised today. The vicar was dressed in a gorilla costume
Seemed strange at first, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

1

0

Shiттy cruise but awesome buffet

1

0

Holy diver

1

0

So there i was the only white guy in Jerusalem

1

0

Missionary: Have you found Jesus? Me: Wтf, you lost him again?

1

0

Kobieta bez bolca jest stale modlaca

1

0

When its pray time, So you temporarily put Your interests aside to please God....

1

0

Only three men in the history have walked on the water: Jesus, Peter, and Anselmo. Only Anselmo has the picture.

1

0

Q: What do you call a lawyer who has gone bad?
A: Senator.

0

0

Two guys walk into a bar.
The third one ducks.

0

0

Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks, "Are you two sisters?"
They chuckled and reply, " No, we aren't even Catholic."

0

0

God came to Adam and said, "I've got some good news and some bad news."
"Well, give me the good news first," Adam replied.
"I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have wonderful conversations with Eve. The other оrgаn I have for you is called a реnis. It will allow you to reproduce your new intelligent life form and populate this planet."
Adam exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
"The bad news is I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

0

0