Sexist Jokes

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We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. There are our rules:
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1. Chests are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
11. If you think you are fат, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
12. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
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