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Мanagement jokes

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There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model.
Half an hour later she was back at the showroom, claiming a that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes.
The management apologized and gave her a new car.
Again, after half an hour she came back.
The management offered her a new car, but sent along one of their engineers to see if they could figure out what the problem was.
She put in the first gear... Speed up... Put in second... Third... Fourth... Fifth...
“And now,” she said, “for the rocket,” and threw it in reverse.
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Boy: The principal is so dumb!
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No...
Girl: I am the principal's daughter!
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No...
Boy: Good! *Walks away*
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Yo' Mama is so sтuрid, when her boss told her to take her ugly аss home, she came back 10 minutes later without her аss.
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CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe."
Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work."
Company softball team downsized to chess team.
Company president now driving a Hyundai.
Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
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When you listening to much from motivational speakers
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De directeur roept zijn secretaresse bij zich. "Daisy Un homme aimerait coucher avec la plus belle femme de son travail. Le problème est que la jeune femme est déjà prise. Il va donc la voir et lui propose: - Si je te donne 100€ Un patron propose à sa blonde secrétaire d’avoir un rapport sexuel avec elle : - « Je vais le faire très rapidement Bula Ajunge sef si isi angajeaza o secretara Mult mai tanara
A boss said to his secretary,
"I want to have sеx with you, but I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said,
"Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself."
She agrees. After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks,
"So what happened?"
She responds,
"The ваsтаrd used coins, so I'm still picking it up and he is still having sеx with me!"
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Man says to his boss "Can we talk? I have a problem."
Boss says "Problem? No such thing, we call it an opportunity!"
Man says "Ok I have a serious drinking opportunity."
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Hier gibt es keine Fische Посред зима един рибар отива да лови риба. Един рибар отишъл за риба. Един рибар отива и пробива една дупка в леда. Ein Mann geht mit Angel A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning Het is hartje winter en een Belg gaat vissen. Hij kijkt om zich heen en denkt: "Dit is een mooie rustige plek Ein Angler geht aufs Eis Een blondje wou gaan vissen op het ijs. Ze had vele boeken over het onderwerp gelezen en schafte zich de nodige zaken aan en ze ging naar het ijs. Nadat ze haar comfortabele stoeltje op het ijs... Temel Kuzey Kutbuna gider. Buzda balık avlamanın çok popüler olduğunu duyar En blondin som i julklapp fått ett isfiske spö bestämde att hon skulle åka och testa det nya spöet. Tidigt nästa morgon så samlade hon ihop utrustningen och begav sig ut på isen. När hon nådde sin...
One day, a guy decides to go ice fishing. He gets out onto the ice and starts making a hole with his ice augur. Suddenly he hears a booming voice say "there's no fish there!"
He looks around startled but doesn't see anyone.
He packs up and moves to another spot and starts working on a new hole.
Again he hears the booming voice "there's no fish there!"
He moves again and starts making a new hole and hears the voice again.
"There's no fish there!" it booms.
He looks up nervously.
"G-G-God? I-I-Is that... you?" he asks.
"No, it's the arena manager. Get the fuск out of here!"
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