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Highlander

37

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- Grandpa, do you still have SЕX with grandma?
- Yes but just оrаl.
- What is оrаl s*x?
- I say "fuск you", she says "fuск you too"!

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Surveys say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. That means the 5th one likes it.

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Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.

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Q: Where do Snowmen go to dance?
A: To snowballs.

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new rolex

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Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.

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Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
A: Have an ice day!

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How do elves greet each other?
"Small world, isn't it?"

28

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Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water
Who else would think of adding gas

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Fishing and girlfriends are exactly alike, there may be plenty of fish in the sea, but until i find one, i’m stuck here holding my rod

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I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.

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I believe “Self-Babtism” is a nice way of saying “Failed Suicide Attempt”

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Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them…
But I was just wondering… should I keep the letters?

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Titanic:
“And I’m nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!”

24

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I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.

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How do you start a rave? Throw a flash ваng into an epileptic children’s ward

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What do you get if you cross a fence post was a kitty?
A poleca.

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